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How to Survive Camping - don't follow the gummy bears either

I run a private campground. It’s been in my family for generations. For those of you with a rich family history, I’m sure you know how stories tend to accumulate. They get passed along haphazardly from one generation to the next, distorting as they do, and the truth grows muddy along the way. Land is like that too, except instead of gathering stories about Aunt Jodi’s scandalous first husband, it gathers monsters.
If you’re new here, you should really start at the beginning and if you’re totally lost, this might help.
There’s a lot to do to maintain a campground and I’ve been having to do a lot of the work myself around here. I don’t want my winter staff going into the deep woods without a good reason right now. Normally I’d send Bryan, as he has the dogs to protect him, but those are on loan. Also, I haven’t seen a lot of Bryan. He shows up, he gets the work done that he needs to, and then he just… vanishes for a while. I don’t know if he’s visiting his dogs or the fairy or both. And now that I think about it, Bryan tends to make himself scarce throughout the year. I guess I haven’t paid that close of attention before. He still gets the job done just fine so does it really matter if he’s off visiting his fairy bff in his downtime?
Unfortunately, even with the spiders’ help, I’m still battling the thorns in my chest. It’s taking a lot of my strength away and I’m getting winded easier. It’s made getting rid of these accursed things a priority. I know the fairy said they’d go away when they killed the fomorian, but as many of you have pointed out, they’re taking their sweet time going about that.
I do have a theory about the current stalemate, though. The fomorian probably wants the thorns to cover more of the campground. The fairy probably wants the sun to return, being of the company of Lugh and all. And both of them probably want less treacherous footing for their steeds.
I see the dapple gray stallion’s hoofprints in the snow sometimes. It makes it easy to avoid. I just turn around and immediately go in the opposite direction.
With this surefire way of avoiding my nemesis, I figured it was time to try a gamble. The fairy initially told me that I could try finding a way to banish the thorns by seeking out another entity of disease. I’ve taken that to mean the gummy bears. Their presence has brought sickness and rot before. The only problem was I really wasn’t sure how to find anything out from them. Did I use their bodies in an elixir? Did they have the answers themselves? There was a human shaped gummy bear, at least until one of Byran’s dogs splattered it. Perhaps there’s more intelligence among them than I thought.
I decided to try out one of Mattias’s strategies. He learned a lot about these creatures simply by being close to them. Following their paths through the woods.
I figured the worst that would happen is I’d wander around the forest for a bit and maybe feel a little stupid.
...okay, that’s really not the worst that could happen, considering the upheaval my land is experiencing, but barring any other catastrophe it wasn’t that dangerous of a plan.
Or at least, the first part wasn’t.
I got some dead mice from the pet store to bait the traps with. They weren’t very big, so I didn’t expect to attract any of the larger gummy bears. This was perfectly fine with me. I was in no hurry for another encounter like the last one, especially with the dogs on loan to the fairy. I baited the traps and left them scattered throughout the deep woods.
Within a couple days the traps yielded results. I found the jellied remains of a rabbit inside one of the traps, staring at me with glistening eyes, its translucent ears quivering. I crouched beside the cage.
“I’m going to let you out,” I said. “Don’t try to bite me or I’ll drop-kick you into the afterlife.”
Just to be safe, I released the gummy bear with the cage door pointing away from me. The rabbit bolted and I sprinted after it, only to lose it within seconds. So the worst case scenario came true, I felt real dumb there, standing in the woods and belatedly realizing that I couldn’t actually keep up with a rabbit.
The second gummy bear I caught was a raccoon. That’s still not something I was convinced I could keep up with, so I took the liberty of breaking both of its hind legs before I released it. The bones snapped like dry branches. The gummy bear hissed wetly and bared its yellowed teeth at me, but otherwise didn’t seem to be in pain. I’m not sure if this qualifies as animal cruelty and frankly, I’m trying not to think about it too hard.
This time, I had no problem keeping up with the gummy bear once it was released. It dragged itself along by its forelegs, seemingly oblivious to the dangling appendages that trailed behind it. Our progress was slow and I impatiently began to wonder if perhaps I should have only broken one. There was nothing I could do about it now. The gummy bear would turn and hiss at me if I got too close, so I kept a healthy distance between us.
And I followed it. I honestly had no idea where it would lead me, but Mattias’s journal implies that he learned everything he did by being close to these inhuman things. The world is less stable when they’re nearby, he claimed. Things slip through.
It took a long time. I was tempted to quit and go home repeatedly and each time I had to remind myself to have patience. Mattias surely had, as he didn’t have the siren call of the internet luring him away. The raccoon made a circle of the deep woods, its pace consistent, dragging its broken legs behind it. It moved with purpose. It stayed off the road, but I caught glimpses of gravel now and again through the barren trees. After a little while I realized that it was slowly but surely turning, heading back towards the hill that led up and out of the forest.
I was beginning to think this had all been a waste of time and I should just finish the thing off. Watching it drag itself all through the woods for the past couple of hours had stirred an acute sense of guilt about this entire affair. Killing something was one thing. That’s a matter of life and death, generally. But crippling something like this… perhaps there’s more of my father in me than I thought. He’s in the quiet spaces of my soul and most of the time I can’t hear him over the roar of my anger.
I heard him now.
I steeled my resolve and hefted the crowbar I’d brought along for just this purpose. Blunt weapons are the best tool for destroying gummy bears. Sharp edges can cut pieces off them, but that won’t necessarily slow them down. Even if you cut it in half you could get unlucky and the pieces might reconnect and join back together and then you got a gummy bear with its ass literally stuck to its shoulder flailing around and trying to bite you.
Blunt trauma, however, separated the parts beyond repair. Like dropping a cherry pie on the floor. You aren’t getting that back together in a cohesive form. And like an exploding cherry pie, the gummy bear burst into a gooey red smear that coated the nearby ground and splattered on the trees when I brought the crowbar down into the center of its body.
Something like smoke hovered over the ground. It was only there for a second. I might have missed it, had I not been watching. Ever since my encounter with the human sized gummy bear I’ve been thinking about what I saw and experienced and wondering if I’d imagined it. But there it was. A miasma. An ill wind carrying sickness to anyone that inhaled it. It rolled away from me, traveling uphill, and then it passed between two trees and was gone.
I almost walked away. But something stirred in the back of my mind, sluggishly connecting the pieces. Dropping each thing that had happened into place until the pattern was evident.
I’d followed it around the old woods. We’d made a circle and were now at where we’d begun. Except sometimes… when walking in a circle with intent… you don’t actually wind up back where you started.
There are other worlds inside my campground. Many more than what I have encountered already, according to my ancestor.
I walked after the smoke and passed between the two trees and they creaked as I went by them, bending their heads to twine their branches so that I passed under an arch and then…
I was elsewhere.
The hall. I’d found the hall of the gummy bears.
I need to stop using such stupid names for the things on my campground.
The structure was of primitive construction. The ceiling was thatched and birds flew between the rafters. There were no windows and the only light came from candles burning in sconces on the wall. The air was thick with the stink of rancid fat and smoke. I tried to take shallow breaths and walked slowly forwards across the rushes strewn over the dirt floor. Small things rolled and broke under my feet. I did not look closer to see what they were. They felt like bone fragments.
The hall continued on for a long time. The darkness swallowed me up and I could only see a handful of yards in any direction. The columns supporting the roof blurred together, each one the same as the last. Round posts with the bark roughly hewn off, painted in ochre tones of yellow and red. Primitive colors made from the earth. This place was very old, a remnant from the earliest edges of human civilization.
I reached the end of the hall. At first I took the back wall for a mosaic, dark wood interspersed with ivory points of varying sizes. Then, as I drew closer, the shapes resolved themselves. Skulls. The back wall was covered with skulls. Animal skulls of all sizes. I recognized groundhogs, squirrels, deer, and a couple coyotes.
A platform of rough hewn stone was built against the back wall. On it sat a chair, backless, with a rounded seat of hide stretched between two ornate arms. The carvings that covered the legs and arms were the only intricate decoration I’d seen in this entire place.
I crept closer to the chair, trying to get a better look. It was then that I noticed there was something strange about the mortar holding the stones together.
It glistened in the faint candlelight, like a fatty cut of meat.
I drew up short with a sudden sense of unease. Nervously, I hefted the crowbar, taking confidence in its weight. I held still and listened to my surroundings, intently searching for any noise, any sign that something was urgently amiss.
A rattling in the corner. Like the scuttling of tiny claws. I pivoted to face it, just in time to see one of the skulls fall off the wall.
It did not strike the ground. It stopped just short, as if falling into thick snow, and then it tilted gently to one side and went motionless. Smoke condensed beneath it, barely discernible in the dim light of the candles.
It felt like it was staring at me.
Then it was gone, swiftly flowing out of sight the instant I blinked. Heart pounding, I watched the shadows, trying to discern where it had gone. But behind me I heard another noise, like the scrape of claws, and I turned to face it just as another skull fell from the wall. This, too, was caught by the smoke.
I felt like my heart was ready to burst from my chest. The rushing of my own blood echoed in my ears. I licked my dry lips and waited, my eyes darting back and forth in a vain attempt to watch all angles. The room was silent. I couldn’t depend on my hearing. How would smoke make noise?
The first came from my right. It swept in low, the smoke billowing like the incoming tide. I turned on my heel and brought the crowbar down in an overhead swing. It connected just as the creature surged upwards, the empty eye sockets leering. The mid part of the crowbar crushed through the skull and into the brain cavity and the smoke dispersed as if flattened, floating back down to the ground.
Blunt teeth raked against my shoulder. I hissed and spun, swiping sideways with the crowbar as I did. It passed through the column of smoke and the creature faltered, as if losing its balance, and a follow-up swing sent the skull tumbling away in three separate pieces.
More skulls were rattling on the wall. Three fell. Then two more. They were quickly swallowed up in the darkness, only to emerge seconds later, lunging at me from the shadows. I would dispatch one with a well-aimed blow and then turn to counter another. Or feel the bite of their teeth. I could only be thankful there was no jawbone with which to crush whatever limb they latched onto when they had an opening. Still, the teeth broke skin. I barely felt the pain underneath the adrenaline.
They were aiming for my throat. For my abdomen. And for every one I dispatched, another couple skulls would fall.
Then there was another sound, overwhelming the rattling of the skulls or my own frantic breathing. Laughter. A gurgling, wet laugh, emanating from the direction of the throne. I risked taking my eyes off the shadows and saw that the mortar holding the stones together was not… actually… mortar.
It was flesh. Jellied, translucent flesh. And it was seeping upwards, congealing on top of the dais, working its way up the legs of the throne.
And it was laughing.
“Send them all!” I screamed at the dais. “I’ll smash every skull on that damn wall if I have to!”
There were so many now. They crowded between the columns, lines of ivory skulls bobbing on a thick carpet of smoke. I exhaled slowly, trying to steady my nerves. I could do this, I told myself. I was stronger than them. Their teeth could not pierce very far and so I only had to outlast them and protect my vitals. And hadn’t Beau taught me how to outlast?
“Go on,” I growled. “My name is Kate. I’ve killed inhuman things before and I’ll destroy all of you as well if I have to.”
The chuckling finally stopped with a final, satisfied note echoing down the long hall. Panting, I pivoted, watching as the creatures receded into the shadows between the columns. Finally, only once the silence returned and nothing else came out of the darkness at me, did I turn and give my full attention to the mass at the fore of the room.
It covered the throne as a shapeless mound of flesh the color of an onion. A quivering lump fully the height of a human and just as wide, the chair hazy behind the translucent jelly. As I watched, small shapes detached from the dais. Stones, two the size of my fist and the rest the size of walnuts. These slowly made their way up through the entity’s body until they floated in the middle of the space between the arms of the chair. The larger stones positioned themselves as eyes and the rest became teeth. The teeth split apart and it began to speak.
“Have you brought me tribute?” it gurgled.
“No,” I replied.
“Then you are an intruder.”
All around me, the skulls shifted, moving forwards a pace. I resisted the urge to raise my weapon once more.
“That is not my intent either.”
“Ahhhhh.” The teeth spread into a smile. “Then you are a supplicant.”
“Are you a king of the Partholanians?” I asked.
Those ancient people of Ireland who died of disease.
“It has been a long time since I’ve heard their name,” it replied thoughtfully. “We are of them. They had a name for our hall. It has since been forgotten.”
I briefly considered telling it what we call them, but quickly squashed the idea. I didn’t want to cause myself more problems by naming it and I certainly didn’t want to name it “the hall of the gummy bears” I mean that’s a terrible name.
DO NOT CALL IT THAT IN THE COMMENTS.
“There’s thorns on my land,” I said. “They’re rotting the trees.”
“So you seek us?”
“They say the Partholanians died of disease.”
“You are a supplicant, here to beg a boon,” it hissed.
My heart sank. Another bargain. It named what it wanted with no small measure of malicious joy and I knew before it finished that I would not be able to grant what it wanted.
It asked for bodies. Human bodies. Not these weak animals that they steal here and there, filling their wretched, dead corpses with the spirits of its people until the flesh dissolved to pieces around them and they came fluttering back here, to this last refuge of its kind. It wanted living flesh. Strong flesh, that they could inhabit and walk among the living once more.
I said that wasn’t possible. I offered it dead human bodies. It was something, at least, and I could obtain those. The funeral home might be willing to help. I only needed to fulfill the bargain long enough to get a remedy for the thorns, I thought desperately.
The creature refused. They were tired of inhabiting dead things, bodies that had already given up on life and could not be restored. It wanted a heart that remembered how to beat and lungs that knew how to breathe.
“And what of the person that inhabits that flesh?” I asked.
“Perhaps the soul will stay. Perhaps it will depart. I do not care.”
If I did this, it said, it would give me what I needed to stop the rot. I took a deep breath. And I agreed to its bargain. It shook with pleased laughter.
“One last question,” I said. “Why can’t you get a body of your own making, like how the other creatures on my campground have?”
Beau says he remembers being on my land, walking down the road looking for someone to share his drink with. He came from somewhere, as did the hammock monster and the lady with extra eyes and all the others.
“The watcher will not let us pass,” it hissed. “We are too weak. We cannot take form. We can only steal, scavenging the scraps. It is a shameful survival. Do you pity us?”
“No,” I said quickly.
“Nor do we pity you. We see your death sometimes, lurking in the woods.”
“My death?” I asked desperately. “The beast? Or something else?”
It chuckled, a sickening gurgling sound, like boiling mud.
“Bring me bodies,” it said, “and perhaps I will tell you more.”
I recognized the dismissal. I turned and walked away, the skin on the back of my neck crawling under the weight of all those empty eyes watching me go. The doors to the hall hung open for me and when I passed through, the trees unwound themselves and the arch and the hall were gone. There were only the snow-laden branches of the campground.
I’m a campground manager. I have no intention of honoring this bargain. I admit that it is tempting to give some of my more problematic campers to them. Heck, for some of them, being a flesh vessel for the decaying soul of an unborn monster of ancient times would probably be a personality improvement. However, as I’ve discussed before, the town does not look kindly on bargains with evil things. They turn a blind eye to the campground for the most part since we contain the evil things, but I feel this might cross a line. There’s no direct benefit for the townsfolk, after all. I’m not keeping something away from them. The gummy bears are stuck here already. If anything, I’m throwing innocent people into their maw just to make them stronger.
I don’t think they’d accept it being worth the sacrifice to get rid of the thorns, either. They tend to be rather short-sighted. It would take the thorns consuming the campground and overflowing into their land for them to accept the necessity of such a bargain. I don’t have enough time to wait for that.
And I don’t know… it’s kind of nice to be the heroine sometimes. Maybe this is my father’s legacy coming out. He always wanted to save people.
So I’m going to cheat. That’s one of the strengths of humanity. We can freely use deceit. I just need a willing accomplice.
And I know exactly who to ask. [x]
Read the full list of rules.
Visit the campground's website.
submitted by fainting--goat to nosleep [link] [comments]

Best and worst games I played in 2020

Here are my recommendations of games that I played for the first time in 2020. S-tier games that have become my all-time favourites made this list. 2020 was the year where I finally realised which games I actively want to play and it’s made my gaming experiences so much more entertaining.
Here are also some games to completely avoid with exaggerated opinions. These are some of the worst games I’ve ever played, ranging anywhere from confusingly irredeemable to malignant, insulting games that are only holding back video games as an entertainment and art form, and hate you for playing them.
I’ve listed some better games at the end of each review as much better alternatives with similar gameplay or style. Please vehemently disagree with me in the comments
Best: Resident Evil 2 Resident Evil 2 has everything I want from an action game. The core gameplay of running around a police department, escaping fights with monsters and zombies while working out puzzles is Resident Evil’s thing, and Resident Evil 2 adds solid gunplay, meaningful weapon upgrades and rewarding items for putting in extra effort. I only missed one which required some backtracking near the end of the game, and realised that about 5 minutes after a point of no return. The Tyrant chasing you around adds a lot of flavour to the game, forcing you to adapt strategies and plans. Resident Evil 2 also has my personal distinction of being the only game I’ve ever finished twice back to back, finishing Leon and then Claire’s story in a week.
Resident Evil 7: Biohazard Take everything I said about Resident Evil 2, plus frightening horror that actually got to me at points, a better story, and a first person perspective that works incredibly well, and that’s what I have to say about Resident Evil 7. Absolutely the best in the series as it amplifies what makes the Resident Evil games so great while adding equally interesting new ideas. The Baker family’s grotesque transformations and gory boss fights are highlights, chainsawing an old man’s face and shotgunning a crazy old woman is the most fun I’ve had this year.
Bloodborne It’s between Bloodborne or Bioshock as my favourite game of all time. I fear that I could spend hours typing what fascinated me about this game, so I’ll save my collected thoughts for another post. Bloodborne’s world is captivating from beginning to end. It unravels as you gather insight on the desecrated city of Yharnam, learning about the Healing Church forsaking the city with its endless hunts. My character, a woman who has left her land after her family were slaughtered by the same beasthood that ravaged Yharnam, fit perfectly with the story, and even thematically mirrored a DLC character’s past. By the way, The Old Hunters DLC is the best DLC ever, no doubt. If you’re going to buy Bloodborne go with Game of the Year edition, it’s spectacular. Of course you don’t need the DLC to fully enjoy the game, but it adds an impressive amount of gameplay hours, new story that adds to the main story, the excellent Research Hall level, the most dramatic boss fight and a pizza cutter weapon. Bloodborne’s gameplay is equally as fascinating as the story, with a fast-paced almost fighting game style combat system, a nearly completely connected immersive world, expert level design, some of the best bosses in any video game, and terrifying difficulty. For many players, these may seem too much or ‘not for me’, (always disappointing to see people give up on the Souls games, but understandable given the lack of beginner friendliness), and I certainly felt the same way at first. When I learnt to persevere and actively focus on the game, quitting out whenever a mild inconvenience in real life happened, it became a joy to play. I had mastered and overcome a godly challenge. I’m pretty terrible at games generally, so I honestly feel proud that I managed to beat this game and the DLC. Bloodborne’s cathartic moments, its incredible story and the pure art of the game which can be captured in a screenshot, or the masterful soundtrack, are all why it’s likely my favourite game ever.
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night Overlooked is an understatement. Made by the director of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, this game is metroidvania almost perfected. Almost, as there’s some inconsistent game design towards the end with a specific puzzle, but that’s my only real criticism. It’s also a well deserved ‘fuck you’ to Konami, with a pachinko boss fight and David Hayter practically voicing Snake. Gameplay is excellent with intuitive dungeons, bonus areas, RPG-style weapon, skills and armour customisation, and some crushingly difficult bosses. If you want a rest from the main game, you can always return to the beginning town and complete quests - my favourite is making meals for a constantly hungry old woman, as you can later buy and use them for permanent stat boosts. Shamefully, I really liked dressing up Miriam, the main character anime girl. Messing around with her skin colour and unlocking hairstyles is worth the £20 alone. With free upcoming DLC, it’s a perfect patient gamer game.
Spec Ops: The Line Spec Ops: The Line is a perfect game. Many criticise the cover shooting, but it twists the generic mechanics into something amazing. In games such as Gears of War or Uncharted, taking cover is used to stop enemies shooting at you, reload, regen health, have a cup of tea or anything you can do while crouching. Spec Ops, however, puts you against relentless enemies who will suppress your fire when in cover and move to flank you, meaning you are forced to move and take damage, or work out a strategy with your teammates on the fly. It’s not deep strategy, but it really adds a new dimension to the game which sets it apart. The level design is excellent too, with plenty of memorable combat arenas like a decaying stadium, a destroyed luxury hotel, and an abandoned mall, which all go hand in hand with the story, which needs no introduction. Dubai has been wiped out by a sandstorm, and a rogue US army battalion led by your former leader and some civilians remain. Each level adds another piece to the PTSD puzzle, as you mow down hundreds of American soldiers who scream out in fear and panic as the game slow-motions their heads being destroyed by one of your bullets, while death rattles of wounded soldiers permeate the arena. Walker, voiced expertly by Nolan North, slowly changes over the course of the game as his honest, heroic decisions turn out to be, well, not very heroic. One of my favourite details in a video game is how his reload and command voice lines change the further you go into the game, as the weight of his task to rescue civilians and extract his mentor becomes unbearable. Even the main menu changes throughout the game, representing the entropy of the city. I haven’t tried the multiplayer as there’s no one online, but the fact it’s there makes me appreciate this game even more. Spec Ops: The Line is video games as a narrative experience exemplified perfectly.
Rayman Legends Incredible 2D platformer that removes many conventions (lives, starting a level over, time) and is better for it. Each level has depth with collectables that unlock new characters and levels, and side challenges. The highlight is the music stages, which remix songs to fit the world’s theme, and the platforming is based on rhythm. Disappointing to hear of Michel Ancel’s departure from Ubisoft, as that means we’ll likely never get a sequel. I sympathise with you, Beyond Good and Evil fans. Now if only Ubisoft executives could stop trying to mount every female in the workplace and work on another of these games (Seriously though, fuck Ubisoft for the sexual assaults and their PR coverups).
Mario Kart Wii I never owned a Wii as a child. It pained me to see all my friends play Wii Sports Resort and Super Mario, but one game in particular eluded me: Mario Kart Wii. The speed, the soundtrack, the plastic wheel you put over the Wiimote - I remember being captivated by it and wishing I could have a gaming experience like that in my own home. 12 years later, the Wii and Wii U have as much grasp on popular culture relevancy as Game of Thrones, which is the perfect time to buy an old console and a copy of this game. Mario Kart Wii is exactly as I remember. Coconut Mall, DK’s Snowboard Cross, battle mode, plus all the tracks my friends never unlocked make this one of my personal favourites. I debated putting it on this list as I’d find it hard to compare to a game like Bloodborne or Bioshock, but any game that creates the same childhood wonder in me is instantly going in my favourites list. Mario Kart Wii is fun racing with enough depth to get good at, and even more exciting playing it with friends. Especially when you’ve got a spiny shell.
Worst: Rise of the Tomb Raider Basically ‘ok’ can only last so long before becoming tedious. Rise of the Tomb Raider does nothing notable with its gameplay. Most egregious is the plot that’s basically stolen beat for beat from Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. Mountains, evil super-Russians, and annoying bullet sponge mythical enemies at the end (although they’re better than the bootleg Thanos’ you fight in U2, but basically anything is). Lara Croft is insufferable, she has no personality and grunts and shoots her way through every situation. Definitely the best of the worst list as I finished only this and Detroit but I really shouldn’t have wasted my time. Instead play Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
Saints Row Mid-2000s 50 Cent and Soulja Boy era hip hop aesthetics were always cringe. Saints Row goes for that materialistic objectify all women attitude without much irony and actually takes itself seriously. The beginning is every angry teenage white boy’s dream of various women trying to sleep with you, surviving a gang attack and then being recruited to this gang because they noticed you’re such a chad. I’m surprised he didn’t also win a rap battle against Eminem. It’s trying to be Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas with its satire and comedy, but it ends up being cringy rather than funny when you’re listening to the stereotypical camp gay guy shouting down the radio without any smart jokes or wordplay. The game also runs terribly, even on my original Xbox One. I’m really hoping the other games in this series are as good as everyone says, and this is only a false start. Instead play Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare I imagine the pitch for this game was ‘Consumers didn’t like consuming the new Halo’s that they’ve consumed. Anyway, fellow executive, how will we make consumers consume another Call of Duty?’ ‘Let’s make the consumers consume Call of Duty while ripping off Halo down to the weapon and ship designs and promise a sci-fi experience with 2016 relevant celebrities and the usual passionless gameplay, and completely break the multiplayer with pay-to-win weapons. That way we can consume all of the disappointed Halo consumers’ money plus the yearly sycophants’ who’ll buy our games every year anyway. Wanna test our brand loyalty by releasing the worst trailer ever?’ Instead play Halo 4
Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 malignant and represents the worst of ‘live service’ microtransaction lootbox fuelled games. Literally a pay to win £50 (70 USD) game with overpowered weapons only in lootboxes that Activision promised not to include, no campaign and another cringy comedy zombies mode. Fuck this game and fuck Activision. I hope the executives’ spoilt and probably racist children are happy with the money they’ve got from gambling addicts. Instead play Doom Eternal
Detroit: Become Human malignant and represents the worst of emotional story-driven artistic pretentious wank games. Horrible storytelling about racism and abuse, no interesting or likeable characters, nonsensical plot twists and unbelievably miserable forced drama. Obvious and rudimentary observations about complex and incredibly serious social issues are constant. It feels exploitative and contrived to see humans try to rape and murder the harmless androids when in the game’s own context it makes no sense. I’m really sick of seeing this stuff in games and films, the obvious contrivances like stabbing a pregnant woman in the Last of Us by accident, ‘Now you must hate her, audience!’ Terrible writing. If you don’t make the choices the game wants you to make you’re railroaded until you play the game ‘properly’, so your choices mean nothing. I chose not to rescue a character who explicitly hated me because I was an android, which locked me out of a good (relative) ending, because your choices affect a good ending/bad ending binary system. Not playing the game the way David Cage wants you to? Bad ending, though the ‘good’ endings are equally poorly written. While I did actually finish the game, it is absolutely NOT representative of how much I enjoyed it compared to the others on this list. I only stuck around to the ending because my friends constantly recommended it, and because of the praise from reviewers desperate to give any high profile game a positive review if it increases their chances of working for a game company. See this year’s Game Awards as perfect example. David Cage has no ideas that aren’t already from much better movies, the talentless misogynist. I’m pretty sure he ripped the narrative straight out of Humans, a 2015-2018 UK TV show from the few scenes I’ve seen from it. At least Kojima makes good games when he steals from movies, and dubiously sexualises women. Instead play Batman and Batman: The Enemy Within (and watch Seven, Memento, Blade Runner and Blade Runner 2049)
Aliens: Colonial Marines it’s awful, but I’ll still take this over Black Ops 4 or The Division. Every level has basic and boring corridors with broken AI targets to shoot. I gave up after a broken stealth section. Pretty funny to watch, though. Instead play Doom
Knack memes aside, Knack sucks. Broken combat where every enemy is so vastly more powerful than you, no real combos in a beat ‘em up, strange Lego knockoff character designs. I can’t wait to play Knack 2 after I’ve finished literally every other game in existence Instead play Lego Marvel Super Heroes and Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga
Dragon Ball Final Bout No idea why I played this, I don’t even like Dragon Ball. Anyway, it’s unplayable due to the abysmal controls Instead play Tekken 3
Wii Music Nintendo are pretty cool, but not free from making terrible games. Wii Music has no real gameplay. As soon as you put in the disc, you’ve won the game. Waving the Wiimote around without any rhythm or skill gets you through every song in the limited track list, which lacks any Killing in the Names or Through the Fire and the Flames(s). No fun at all, and especially disappointing from Nintendo. Instead play Tetris Effect: Connected
Tunnel B1 obscure mid-90s game. The colour brown. Best left forgotten. Instead play Star Wars Battlefront II
Tom Clancy’s The Division The Division proves that the gaming industry is often going backwards. It has less gameplay than Gears of War, another third-person cover shooter from 2006, released ten years before the Division. Even basic enemies are bullet sponges, meaning every encounter is hiding behind a chest high wall and waiting to unload 30 more rounds into them. The story is completely tone deaf and idiotic with a huge disconnect from the gameplay. If you’re a highly skilled operative why is one random thug so much more powerful than you? One of the most infuriating, lazy ways of designing combat, the anti-power trip. Life-wasting Ubisoft hollowness. At least I didn’t waste a weekend, as you can see all the game has to offer in about 4 hours. Instead play Spec Ops: The Line
submitted by GAMER_GIRLS_PM_ME to patientgamers [link] [comments]

I heard you guys like reading patch notes... So how about a fake one?

General / QoL

Gameplay

Gacha / Shop

In Consideration

Items

Coop

Battlepass / 12 Episode Anime

Quests

Elemental Reactions

  • Vaporize's Steam deals aoe damage
  • Overloads damage (electro->pyro) now deals x1.5 (pyro) damage
  • Overloads damage (pyro->electro) now deals x2 (pyro) damage.
  • Overload's knockback decreased significantly
  • Superconduct's damage (electro->cryo) now deals 2x (cryo) damage
  • Superconduct's damage (cryo->electro) now deals 1.5x (cryo) damage
  • Superconduct's negative armor debuff is moved to Melt
  • Melt gains the negative armor debuff due to the sudden temperature change, making surfaces brittle.
  • Melt damage consequently reduced. (pyro->hydro) at x1.4% , (hydro->pyro) at x1.8%
  • Geo New Reaction : Smoldering Rock or something (pyro->geo)(reverse not applicable) deals x0.3 (pyro damage) on top of crystallize
  • Geo New Reaction : Mud or something (hydro->geo)(geo->hydro) deals x0.1 (geo damage) on top of crystallize, slows enemy movement
  • Geo New Reaction : Snow or something (hydro->geo)(reverse not applicable) deals x0.2 (cryo damage) on top of crystallize, slows enemy attack speed
  • Geo New Reaction : Seeds or something (dendro->geo) deals x0.1 (dendro damage) on top of crystallize, restores 3% of your hp. Or entangle. Prevents enemy movement (can still attacc and cast spells)

Enemies

  • Enemies inside domains and abyss have their return-to-spawn-point-then-regenerate-to-full-health disabled.
  • Enemy AI a bit smarter. Those with mobility skills (whopper, smol geovishap, cycin mages) won't follow you to drown in the water. The game will not check if you are wet , but if you are in a swimming state.
  • Enemies attack cycle improve. Fixed bug when enemies stop attacking. Baedou Problems.
  • Hydro Abyss Mage's and Hydro Fatui Gunner's Hydro Barrier now takes the same damage rate/ratio from opposing elements (cryo,electro) for consistency.
  • Hydro barrier new opposing element : Geo. It makes it harder to maintain the water shield due to the mud soaking up the water and adding weight.
  • Boss Childe's Spirit Whale Attack generates water in the sides of the arena, pushing you towards the center. You must have enough stamina to keep dashing to the sides before he does this, or you will have to perfectly dodge the spirit whale attack.
  • Hydro SamaChurl now heals at a rate of +300/HoT per AR Milestone instead of percentage. This is for when you are hunting a LawaChurl Bounty that is near dead and healed to full health in 3 seconds. Having a fixed amount of healing ensures that it is big enough for the intended smaller enemies and portionally good enough for large enemies. The other option is to use different healing ratios for small and large enemies.
  • Queen of Pain , I mean Cycin Mages have a stagger window when they are about to cast their almost-undispellable shield
  • Zed , I mean Shadow Fatui Agent makes use of his shadows to dodge your attack sometimes.
  • Smol Geo Vishap now drops less geo shields
  • Smol Geo Vishap now uses his rolling attack near you, not 150m away from you.
  • Smol Geo Vishap now burrows a bit less frequently
  • Ruin Hunter doesn't stay in the air up and raining artillery forever , in consideration of bowless comps
  • Fatui Cryo and Hydro Gunner Turn Rate Reduced by 10% when on Spray Mode.
  • Primo GeoVishap now has a tired/exhausted animation, instead of standing still and looking at you and what life could have been for 10 seconds.
  • Primo GeoVishap spin attack now has a 0.2 dodge window (previously none) and Spin Radius Decreased by 100m.

Characters

  • Dvalin's Cutscene when you dispel his barrier is removed and much smoother. He just falls in place and no clipping.
  • Character's "Main Stat" is now visible in attributes. Previously you can only know it when ascending or when using google, or if you really have a big brain.
  • All characters passive talents are now combat related.
  • All characters now have their own cooking/exploration/crafting/smithing talents. It is possible not to have OR have multiple talents in each category. We get it , everyone can taste what a good gravy is, but not everyone can make a good gravy.

Ayaka

  • Alternate sprint binded to a different hotkey.
  • Yes I came from the future.

Albedo

  • Elevator can be activated to go up and down by using the F key.
  • C2 stack counter / indicator via particles (think of razor geo sigils)
  • C4 plunged attack covers albedo's sword in geo energy (like noelle, but smol)
  • C6 crystallize shield has a different shape (leaf)

Amber

  • Increased ultimate radius by a tiny bit.
  • Allow targeting of ulimate by holding the ultimate button.
  • If baron bunny is present in the ultimate radius, it will absorb all pyro damage and deal it as bonus damage when it blows up.
  • If baron bunny was "charged" with pyro rain and hit with a C2 charged shot, it will trigger a micheal bay explosion animation.

Barbara

  • Restored Barbara's Energetic Voice Lines
  • New Lines sold seperately as Dark Barbara™ , comes with a Dark Dress
  • C6 Revive indicator is now visible as a buff.
  • C4 now generates flying energy particles instead of instantly regaining energy. Mind you that this is a fucking nerf to this piece of shit healer that freezes you. It's just that there's no flying particles when you use this hero.

Beidou

  • Casting the elemental skill applies a strong taunt and re-initializes enemies attack loop.
  • Bullet Time effect added when triggering a perfect counter, when playing in single player mode.
  • The ultimate's chain lightning deals tiny spark damage if it didn't jump.
  • C2 chain lightning has a different color.
  • C4 buff is triggered when you do a perfect counter (Taking damage to activate a skill promotes bad gameplay)
  • C4 perfect counter grants the maximum damage bonus
  • C4 shield has a different color.
  • C6 has aura on the ground (inspired by Dota 2's Necrophos , but purple)

Bennet

  • C6 Ultimate pyro infusion just adds pyro damage to your attacks, and won't convert them fully into pyro.
  • C6 Ultimate restores up to 100% hp.

Childe

  • Improved manly posture when in aiming mode
  • C4 Riptide slash and flash uses different coloparticles/animation
  • C6 has an indicator when it works and when it is available

Chongyun

  • Cryo Field's Cryo infusion just adds cryo damage to your attacks, and won't convert them fully into cryo.

Diluc

  • What seriously? You really want more?
  • Fuck this guy in particular
  • Elemental Sword Duration Indicator added
  • C6 his flames has some bluish tint

Diona

  • Fixed shield duration bug and increased by additional 1.1 seconds per claw.
  • Shield ratio based off max hp increased by 10%
  • C2 reduces skill cooldown by -2 seonds (press) and -4 (hold). The coop shield is added by default out of the box. Anything coop should not be locked behind a paywall because it will hurt the game and fanbase.
  • C4 has been reworked to grant normal and aimed uncharged shots 25% chance to deal charged attack shots.
  • C6 radius is increased and uses a different color.

Fischl

  • Ultimate now deals tiny bit of damage per 0.2 seconds tick when making contact with enemies (aside from getting hit by lightning once)
  • Ultimate can fly/pass through thorn walls. I'm looking at you Dendro Samachurl.
  • Shadow Raven Let Night F---!!!
  • C4 Ultimate hp restored now scales off damage dealt by the ult.

Ganyu

  • holding the elemental skill allows you to aim and won't make you backdash
  • C4 Freezing Field changes color intensity per damage increase
  • C6 free frost charged arrow now works with normal unaimed attacks.
  • C6 uses a different particle color. Sometime it turns into a bazooka.

Jean

  • Reduced Increased swaying of boobs by a tiny amount while holding the skill. You can kinda feel them slapping against your face. You can almost describe their softness and warmth in a minimum of 10 pages apart from you going sommelier describing how deep her sweat tastes like.
  • Jean's Charged Attack Launch Height is too damn high that you cant even hit the enemy, so - Reworked Jean's Charged Attack : Holding the attack button launches the enemy in the air. If you keep holding it down you will perform 3 slashes in the air. If you let go early you will stay on the ground.
  • Base Attack Increased by +5
  • Jean can now pick up the slimes dropped by enemies and use it against them for a bighead move
  • Ultimate radius is increased
  • Ultimate Wall Mechanic Reversed. Enemies are now trapped inside. When you use your skill (usually to regain energy) you can air-wall slam them. Block Projectiles from outside.
  • If any of you actually played jean support, a normal person would use ult to heal, cast skill to regain energy, then switch back to other characters. It doesn't make fucking sense to push them outside your wind arena because you want to fight inside the swirl/healing zone.
  • Ultimate swirls every 0.2 seconds , depending on what elements are inside. Field Changes Color Each Time Like a Disco Ball
  • Ultimate now slowly succs enemies to the center(without lifting them up)
  • Ultimate Damage is consequently reduced.
  • C1 Uses a different colored windblast
  • C2 Buff Indicator
  • C4 uses a different color wind field
  • C6 Ultimate is now an aura and moves with you. To break away from "buffed area" convention.
  • C6 Ultimate will get you to keep the windsaber for the ult's duration
  • C6 Shield Buff Indicator via Particle and Status Icon

Kaeya

  • Base attack incresed by 5
  • Elemental Skill (Hold) Sprays Ice , think of Igni but Ice in Witcher 3 or DND's Burning Hands
  • C2 Icicles light up when you defeat an enemy indicating that it really works
  • C4 Barrier is of different shape
  • C6 uses a different icicle particle for bling purposes

Keqing

  • Aiming mode feels a lot smoother. You can aim while moving and cursor immediately shows and the kungfu pose is only done when throwing the stilleto.
  • When in single player mode, casting your ultimate produces a bullet time effect.
  • C4 Buff Indicator
  • C6 Description is confusing as fuck.
  • C6 Buff indicator
  • C6 Makes your sword light up like a lightsaber.

Klee

  • Imroved Torch/Bonfire/Campfire and the likes Lockon (if there's any to begin with)
  • Throwing Jumpty Dumpty provides 0.1s iframe during her spin
  • Ult is now no longer greedy. Pyro satellites remain when you switch characters, making our lovable klee open up for support options. Child support.
  • C4 is now manually triggered, Pressing q again will make her explode, bigger damage based off remaining duration. less duration left, less damage.
  • C6 klee uses different bombs

Lisa

  • A lingerie shop is opened in Mondstadt to change her pantsu, socks and garter belt style and colors. Black Leather Tight Suit™ Sold Seperately.
  • Option to wear glasses as a Librarian added.
  • Climbing voice volume is re-mastered in asmr microphone, in all languages.
  • Requires "i am of legal age" consent in the user center
  • Elemental skill (press) aoe slightly increased.
  • Base attack increased by 15.

Mona

  • Alternate dash is now binded to alt key.
  • Hydro Puppet now deals half damage upon cast and half damage upon explosion.
  • C6 normal attacks use a different attack animation.

MC (Anemo)

  • Palm vortex can be casted in midair to break your fall (but not propel you up)

MC (Geo)

  • When you overlap geo boulders (aimed mode) it will trigger the geo explosion of the older rock, then replace it with a new one

Ningguang

  • Holding the skill button surrounds her in mini jade screens , unable to perform any action until it is released or ends. Useful for cinematic stuff. Imagine tanking childe's whale attack. Or someone wants to recreate triple rashomon scene.
  • C6 has a chance to use different attack animation.
  • C6 star jade now resembles a primo gem.

Noelle

  • Elemental Sword Duration Indicator added
  • C1 heals have a special effect and voice line when conditions are met.
  • C2 upgrade uses a different charged attack animation.
  • C4 uses a different barrier color
  • C6 upgrade uses different ult (possibly red with the same hue as her skirt) color.

Qiqi

  • C2 reworked as -15% attack debuff
  • C4 reworked as -20% elemental resistance debuff
  • C6 cooldown/availability indicator.
  • C6 has a different bling/color

Razor

  • Transformation Duration Indicator added
  • C1 increased damage now really works
  • C1 now has a buff indicator that it really works
  • C2 now has a special crit indicator
  • C4 armor shred now has a (claw mark) armor shred indicator that it really works
  • C4 (hold) has increased damage so it doesn't feel left out. It also has electro explosions similar to when you mine an electric ore as a special effect to indicate that you are C4 and have a big PP.
  • C6 covers your sword with electricity (like diluc) when it is charged and ready
  • Yes I play razor a lot.

Sucrose

  • Fixed crafting bug not producing any bonus when using large quantities (say 100+)
  • Improved lock on when blowing off dandelion flowers. Idk how she keeps missing them even at point blank range, Hell , at any given range.
  • C1 if you overlap the wind nukes the second one will be a 0.1s delay then it will go off with a slightly bigger radius
  • C2 ult has a different color
  • C4 has an indicator that it works
  • C6 buff indicator

Venti

  • Wind current generated by skill (hold) allows him to fall slower without gliding, and allows him to shoot wind lasers. Ehe
  • C2 Charged Shot produces a bullet time effect when shot at point blank or if all 3 arrows hit a single enemy. Sometimes he draws the holy lyre and it transforms into a primitive shotgun.
  • C4 buff indicator.
  • C6 uses different vacuum color

Xiangling

  • Ultimate deals additional damage when cast at point blank because you get stab and bonk while she is twirling her spear.
  • C2 last attack leaves a flaming trail special effect (inspired by kyo or iori from king of fighters)
  • C6 upon cast, Xianling automatically does a speed-up full normal attack combo and then releases the pyronado normally (while covered in flames or some shit). If you are in single player mode and there are no other enemies within 150 radius the ult will cause the screen to black out, like in legend of legaia.
  • C6 during the ultimate if it contacts with gouba's flames it produces micheal bay effects while raining carpet bombs and shit.
  • Yes flat is justice.

Xingqiu

  • Floating Swords Duration added
  • Fixed crafting bug not producing any bonus when using large quantities (say 100+)
  • C4 Allows you to hold the elemental skill for double backflips (inspired by law from tekken) cooldown is 1 month.
  • C4 Elem Skill leaves a faint rainbow (when ulted)
  • C6 Swords emit faint rainbow color. Rainbow power motherf-

Xinyan

  • Hitting large enemies counts as 2 enemies.
  • C1 buff indicator
  • C2's level 3 shield has some bluish flames
  • C6 charged attack uses a diffent attack animation or has an indicator that it works

Xiao

  • Transformation Duration Indicator added
  • C2 now leaves a trail of anemo energy that deals tiny bit of damage , trail lasts for 1 second and deals at 0.2s intervals.
  • C6 plunge attack counts large enemies as 2.
  • C6 plunge-attack-no-cooldown-empowered-dashes uses a different particle color and produces a bullet time effect when used for the 3rd time onwards. useful for cinematic purposes
  • C6 during the bullet time you can sneak in a normal attack once per dash
  • Bullet time is always disabled in multiplayer

Zhongli

  • Increased pillar aoe by a tiny bit
  • Generates energy particles per pulse, maximum of 1 enemy per pillar
  • Base attack increased by 5
  • Travelers can redeem promo code "WHOSYOURDADDY" for additional +5 damage, regardless if they have the hero or not.
  • Attack ratios increased by 3% per attack category.
  • C1 has a slightly bigger dong eherm statue
  • C4 Chaos Meteor errrr I mean Order Meteor has a different rock color
  • C6 shield uses a different color , come on you get the drift already.
  • C6 Meteor is affected by the element of the barrier you are wearing. The element is dealt as secondary damage, primary damage is still geo. (flaming space rock?)

Why different coloparticles/animation when you have C1-C6 upgrade?

It makes whales feels special, and it gives F2P players something to aspire for. It makes you want to spend with all the bling. Particle recolor is easy peasy and can be deployed within minutes. Attack animations on the other hand are time consuming. It almost always put smile in people's faces when a whale shows up in a ferrari. "Dude check this out a C6 GeoDaddy joined my domain run. Look at the size of his statue. Oh my what a BIG meteor."

Why are you doing this?

It's just for my amusement. I'm still adding random thoughts now that 1.3 has launched. I don't care if nothing gets implemented. I would nut hard in my shorts with QoL and alleged bug/bugfixes mentioned in this post more than anything.

Afterword

Leave your thoughts below. Sorry and not sorry for the broken engrish , feel free to copy and paste whatever, use it wherever idc as long as it doesn't annoy or harm someone. Translate it in your language etc. No credits needed etc. Let your mind flow

After-Afterword

  • Thanks for the awards and all kinds of reception
  • You guys are awesome and insane that's a shit load of awards thank you.
submitted by lordpuza to Genshin_Impact [link] [comments]

My Christian Upbringing and How I Escaped

Discovering and embracing Satanism is an easier task for some than for others. I just wanted to share a little of my experience for anyone coming from a strict Christian upbringing or even a Christian cult. It's rare that someone is able to escape the clutches of a cult unscathed and then go on to thrive. It's not something that happens overnight and it can involve undoing a lot of ingrained beliefs, going through an identity crisis, losing family or friends, and changing your entire perception of yourself and life. Going through it, I wasn't sure I was going to ever get out. But now, I can really stand back and be amazed at how resilient we can be.
In the 80s, my midwestern parents found themselves in a self-destructive lifestyle, and after attending a church-hosted and horrific dramatization of people being dragged off to hell, they turned to Christianity as the magic cure for their unhappiness in life. When I was born, they were still brand-new born-agains struggling with substance abuse and addiction, but they went all in. And I mean ALL in. They ghosted all their friends, cut ties with every member of my extended family, and made a new family of believers. We were Pentecostal - the 700 club-watching, faith-healing, tongues-speaking, Proctor and Gamble-boycotting variety. If you've ever seen Jesus Camp that was basically my life. I don't remember a lot from those early years, but I've heard stories and have seen family photos to know that I don't want to remember.
As my sister and I got older, they attempted to shelter us from the horrors of the sin-ridden secular world. We were homeschooled with an all-Christian, church-approved curriculum taught by my mother (who had an 8th grade education) while my dad was at work. My textbooks contained and presented as fact the typical hoaxes and flawed analogies that form the basis for Christian science-denial, and I didn’t know any different. We lived in the Bible belt on a small farm, and everyone I knew was at least some form of Christian. There weren't enough non-believers to convert, so we spent most of our time trying to convert the Catholics and Baptists to "real" Christianity. My mom always said Pentecostals came first, Catholics and Baptists came along after and bastardized Christianity. Most of my "classes" were based in homemaking or farm work, and went along nicely with our weekly Wednesday night girl's program, The Missionettes. It was basically girl scouts but focused on Bible memorization and turning us into good Christian wives. We had badges like sewing, knitting, cooking, grooming, ettiquette, abstinence, and first aid. Of course we also had religious badges for communion, prayer, healing, fruits of the spirit, and the armor of god etc. A very well-rounded education.
While my parents went to church and we put on the face like we were living the blessed life, things at home weren't great. The hardest thing growing up was hearing all the adults at church go on and on about how great my parents were and how lucky I was to have such good Christian parents. One day, I remember my dad pulling me aside to tell me there was something wrong with my mom, that I should never make her angry because he wouldn't be able to choose between us. When I was 5, my mom threw a pair of scissors at my dad. They got embedded in his leg and he had to go to the emergency room. When I was around 6, my mom began to threaten my dad in front of us, saying by the time he got home from work, we would be gone. That my sister and I needed to pick who we wanted to live with because by the end of the day, we needed to be packed and ready to leave. My mom was a big fan of belts and the wooden spoon, and she never spared the rod. I have had many objects broken on me. When she would make us bend over, I would try to look back and apologize, to ask what I had done wrong, or what i could do to fix it, but anything other than complete eyes-foward submission was viewed as rebellion and only added to the count. She told me once in a joking manner that when I was in trouble, all I would say was "I want to hold you" to try to get out of punishment. She laughed. When I was 7, my mom told us that Satan told her to kill us with a potato peeler, and that she was going to kill us, my dad, and then herself. But “luckily” god "saved" us! After that, I remember my sister and I used to hide in our closet and pray to god to turn us into farm animals. Horses, dogs, chickens, anything, so we could run away and be free. We didn't even want to be human anymore. By the time I was 12, suicidal ideation set in and never really let go. Satan didn't scare me anymore. My mom did. Hell was real and I was living in it.
When I was 13, my mom found a pencil in a parking lot from a local high school and determined that it was a sign from god that we should be enrolled in public school. I was terrified. These people weren't anything like me, they were all lost sinners and it was my job to be the shining light in the midst of darkness, to teach them the way. However, it turned out, I was the one who did most of the learning. I was exposed to more math and science in high school than I had been in my entire life. I learned about other cultures and history. I actually made some friends and got to see how other people live for the first time in my life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, at that high school even touched the evil I experienced at home. There were days I didn’t want to go home. I never missed a day of school if I could help it.
The things I had believed started to not make sense in my mind anymore. It took several years for me to put all the pieces together, but the final straw was actually reading the Bible entirely from cover to cover for the first time, rather than just the “reading plan” i was given. I learned when the gospels were actually written, who possibly wrote them and why. I started reading about as many different religions as I could and started realizing the similarties of them all. I had a good friend at the time who wasn't afraid to challenge every religious and political position I had, and realized that I didn't even know why I believed what I did, only that I was told to believe it and always had. I began to reexamine everything I believed, no matter how trivial or obvious. It became clear to me that more than anything, I just wanted more out of life than I was given.
Originally, I wasn't going to go to college. We didn't have enough money, no one in my family had ever gone to college, and my parents had just assumed that I'd end up being a pastor's wife who played the piano for church services. But on the advice of an advisor, I applied to and auditioned for a music program, and I got in. I was finally getting out. But not before my mom could have the final word. When my parents found out I had been talking to a boy at school and that I liked him, she called me "the whore" for a month. One day, I had the flu and missed school for a few days. My boyfriend asked if he could bring over a can of soup and the homework I had missed. My parents agreed, and when he came in, he sat on the end of my bed (the door was wide open and I was under a ton of blankets) to ask how I was doing. My mom walked by and screeched at the top of her lungs that he needed to get the fuck out of my room and out of her house. That we weren't allowed to be in the same room without supervision. I had basically learned that sticking up for myself was useless, but I would stick up for him. He hadn't done anything wrong. I got out of bed and got up into her face and called her a psychotic bitch. She demanded that my dad throw me out. I looked at him and he looked at me and I will never forget what he said. "I told you not to make her angry because I can't choose between you. This is her house. You have to leave."
So I left. I slept in my car that night and eventually stayed with my boyfriend's family until my aunt (who my parent's ghosted) heard what happened. She took me in for several months until I could make enough money working a few part-time jobs to afford a small apartment. I completely left the church after that. I did visit a few others and even worked as a choir director at a non-denomination church for a while as a side gig, but it just wasn't the same. The veil had been lifted.
Out of the dozens of families who knew me, who watched me grow up and spent time with my family (some who even knew what was going on at home), none of them attempted to contact me. Out of all of my church friends, I am still in contact with only one, who left around the same time I did. When people say leaving a cult is like commiting social suicide, they aren't exaggerating. I was completely cut off.
If you asked my parents today, they would tell you that around 18, I gave into doubt and fell from grace. That the friends I made outside of church brainwashed me. That going to college was the nail in the coffin of my salvation. They'd tell you that by the time I turned 18, I was lost. But I was never lost. Not really. They’d never tell you that I always got in trouble for constantly questioning things. When I was eight, I wrote on the back of an offering envelope “If god created us, who created god?” and left it on a church pew for one of the elders to find (and subsequently got a beating for it). They’d never tell you that at ten, I got into an argument with the children’s pastor for saying men were superior to women because they were created first. They’d never tell you that as a Missionette, I got caught skipping sewing class to crash the Royal Rangers’ (all boys group) flag football games and outdoor events. And they’d certainly never tell you that I was eventually replaced as the president of a bible study group at school for focusing on the less-read and more appalling stories in the Bible, telling people that the gospels weren’t actually written by eye-witnesses, and encouraging people to actually read and think for themselves.
Discovering Satanism was actually one of the biggest steps in trauma recovery for me. To realize that all of my actions and behaviors were based in natural human needs and emotions that aren't at all sinful. That my learned helplessness was a direct result of my upbringing and I didn't need it anymore. That I had control of my life now. That I'm resilient and capable of going through a fire and coming out on the other end, and that I don't have to forgive anyone for anything. That the only person I can rely on is myself.
Here I am on the other side of it all, through many twists and turns. I'm the first of my family to graduate high school, go to college, or go to graduate school. I'm now a professional scientist working on Alzheimer disease research and a keyboardist in a working band. I'm active in my community both in local politics and through volunteer work. Things are far from perfect. I still struggle with old emotions, behaviors and thought patterns. It’s taken many rituals and even daily effort sometimes, but I've achieved a level of happiness and fulfillment in life I never thought possible.
——————
There is no heaven of glory bright, and no hell where sinners roast. Here and now is our day of torment! Here and now is our day of joy! Here and now is our opportunity! Choose ye this day, this hour, for no redeemer liveth! Say unto thine own heart, "I am my own redeemer." Stop the way of them that would persecute you. Let those who devise thine undoing be hurled back to confusion and infamy. Let them be as chaff before the cyclone and after they have fallen rejoice in thine own salvation. Then all thy bones shall say pridefully, "Who is like unto me? Have I not been too strong for mine adversaries? Have I not delivered MYSELF by mine own brain and body?"
The Book of Satan - Anton Szandor LaVey
submitted by SubjectivelySatan to satanism [link] [comments]

Upon a Dead Horse: Chapter One

It had been centuries since the Luddite Wars but the scars across the badlands had still not fully healed. Twisted spires of half melted rock loomed over glass smooth craters pockmarking a desert of orange sand. Sand that had formed from the rust and decay of thousands of tons of burning steel from long abandoned cities. Though rarer now, sometimes the winds would uncover a new pocket of irradiated debris and scour the barren lands with a new wave of radiation. But, other than a few isolated pockets, the battered and scabbed land - bitter and sterile though it was - no longer could be said to be lethal within hours of entering it. Still, with its nightmarish hellscape and it's metal laced grit battering anyone foolish enough to enter, the area more than earned its moniker of Damnation among the survivors. It was said that only a great fool or a madman would ever ride out into Damnation. The sight of just such a rider emerging from a cloud of rust colored sand caused a stir of dread to pass through those that manned the Wall that day.
Still too distant to make out details even with use of the periscope. In wilder days when the winds were still fierce and still hot with radioactive winds a brave soul might have volunteered or been coerced into exposing themselves from the protection offered by the wall to Damnation and venture on top to use a spyglass. But, as the centuries passed and the desert cooled both the Keepers and the Wall itself succumbed to the ravages of time. The sixteen meter tall line of concrete and steel that stretched from horizon to horizon was now just a stained and crumbling shadow of its former glory. Gaps showing exposing the rebar underneath were evident on both sides but, for now at least, the Wall still held. As for the Keepers themselves? That profession which was once viewed as a vital part of the defense of the remnants of humanity had gradually suffered its own form of social erosion. From a respected job to one that was used as a prison sentence to a refugee camp for society's outcasts. The current Keepers were little more than scavengers attempting to carve out their own niche from the scant protection offered by the Wall. So, they contented themselves to observing the stranger through the narrow eyepieces of the periscopes. Watching and waiting.
The stranger was garbed in a fashion appropriate for desert travel. That is to say with no exposed skin and a full face breathing apparatus. The stranger's long coat and wide brimmed hat both appeared to have once been black but had long since been stained orange by the clouds of dust. Gloved hands gripped the reins of the horse tightly while glassy lensed eyes stared straight ahead while a tube extended from the mask to a chest mounted purification unit. He sat stiffly with no wasted movements and seemingly to sit impossibly still atop the saddle. If not for his upright stance and subtle adjustments to the horse's pace as it navigated the uneven terrain, he might have been mistaken for a dead man. The man was obviously still alive. The horse, however, was not.
As the rider and his mount grew closer it became more and more evident that the horse was, in fact, quite dead. The eyes were gone and were now just hollow pits. Bone could be seen jutting out from the rotting flesh along the nose and exposing a bone in one foreleg and part of the ribs along the chest. Blackened rips along the horse's flank were evident where the flesh had ruptured during putrefaction and fluids now weeped from these open sores. Still, the horse walked. Stiffly and mechanically as if it's decaying flesh had somehow been stretched over an automaton. In a sense, that is exactly what had happened.
"Necromancer," Bri of the Evening Watch swore.
"Are you certain?" Vict asked without bothering to rise from his seat. VIct wore the copper badge used to identify a sheriff. The Wall had long since abandoned the position of sheriff, but not the badge. It was now used to identify the First among the Keepers. A position that Vict had held well into his gray haired years. Positively ancient in Wall terms. One day he knew his reflexes would slow and the hand or knife of some upstart would claim his badge. But, for now, Vict's rule had been a successful one. The few crops that would grow near the wall were plentiful and the people in the Wall were thriving as well as could be expected. They had successfully defended themselves from rival Wall tribes that had seized control of their own gates and, as much as was feasible considering the environs of living within the Wall, his people were content. Vict was considered a strong leader. A wise leader. His gray hairs were a testament to that and as long as he did not make mistakes he would be allowed to grow new ones. For now. "His mount is dead," Bri clarified, "It has been ravaged by the desert already. I do not think anything more than proximal arcana could be keeping it going now."
Vict nodded and, finally, arose from the crudely constructed chair to don his own duster. He disliked walking out on the Damnation side of the wall. But confronting this stranger was his duty as First. But, no need to do so alone.
"Can you tell if he's armed?"
"Not yet," Bri admitted, "The light is bad and he is wearing dark clothing. I think there is an electro-rifle on his saddle but he may have a sidearm as well."
"Good enough," Vict said, "We'll assume he is. Summon the others. I want at least six men joining me at the gate. And bring the coil guns with you."
"Those haven't worked in decades, Vict."
"No need to let him know that," Vict remarked as he donned his hat, "We'll just keep that as a surprise for him."
"On it," Bri said with a grin as he scurried off down the corridor towards the living quarters beyond. Some members of the Watch may need to be woken up, Vict knew. The Watch was rarely called upon these days and some had probably long since forgotten what their shift may actually involve. Only a handful, like Bri, were still diligent enough to show up to perform the most minimum of duties. It was a distressing trend but one that Vict himself knew no way of stopping. People guarded the wall from threats along the corridors and from the goodlands. No one cared to stare into the interior.
Vict sauntered towards the door that opened out into the tunnel of the Gate. He soon found himself standing before the massive doors that served as the final barrier between him and Damnation. Fifty meters behind him were doors that opened up into the Goodlands. Those doors they kept ajar most of the day to allow for ventilation. The doors before him had not been opened in years. He wondered if the mechanisms still worked.
He heard the Watch assemble behind him and, without looking to count their numbers or verify they were even dressed and presentable, he signaled the doorman to activate the giant motors that would ease open the doors. It took several minutes for a crack large enough to admit a man on horseback to open. As the doors swung out and away from him, Vict marched forward. He heard the others following him.
The metallic tang of the desert of Damnation stung his nostrils as he edged closer to the boundary of the badlands. As the gap widened the man and the dead horse came into view.
"That's far enough!" Vict shouted.
To his surprise, not to mention considerable relief, the horse stopped short and the motionless rider did not reach for a weapon. Madness was unpredictable after all. He should not expect a reasoned response from a man performing an unreasonable action.
The rider sat there upon his dead horse and, presumably, studied Vict and the Watch. If he was intimidated by their presence he gave no outward sign of it. Slowly, the man lifted one hand away from the reins and reached towards himself. Vict tensed for a moment but relaxed when he saw the hand was not reaching for a holster but rather angling for the respiration unit on the chest. The stranger flipped a switch to activate the speaker. So, he just wanted to talk. That was encouraging.
"I am looking for someone," the stranger's distorted voice crackled from the speaker, "Did another rider come through here some time ago?"
"No," Vict answered.
"Are you certain?" the rider asked, "It would have been many months ago. I can provide a description."
"These gates have not been opened over ten years," Vict clarified, "He didn't come this way."
The rider cocked his head to one side and then seemed to take in the expanse of the wall slowly.
"Perhaps another gate, then?" he asked, "Do you communicate with the other gates?"
Vict shook his head.
"The tribe that took the next gate isn't exactly friendly to our cause," he explained, "The gates further down the line? They may be more neighborly but it's a long walk to find out."
"I see," the rider said, "Then may I request passage through your gate?"
"Are you here to start trouble?"
"Yes," the man replied.
Vict blinked in surprise. He had expected madness, certainly, but being honest about it was new.
"Don't see as to how it benefits me to allow that then," Vict declared. He then motioned back towards the desert,
"Turn around the way you came."
"I can pay the toll if there is one," the stranger offered.
An intriguing offer, actually. Vict almost considered it. Good coin could be valuable in trade with the cityfolk. Still, if they found out he let trouble in then the cities may also attack in retaliation. Good coin spent no better than no coin when you were dead.
"Tempting, but I'll pass," Vict said, "I told you to turn around. I won't ask again."
The speaker crackled as the man sighed.
"Very well," the rider said, "I had hoped to do this another way. But if you insist."
Quicker than he thought would have been possible, the stranger's hand flashed into the interior of his coat. It was out again in an instant and an object was hurled at him. Vict retreated half a step and reached for the knife on his own belt. To his surprise, the object landed gently on the sand near his feet. It was not an attack after all. Curious, he stepped closer and looked closer. He felt the blood drain from his face. It was not a weapon, no, but it was definitely still a threat.
"You're a marshal!" Vict hissed angrily.
"And you are interfering in my lawfully sworn duty," the Stranger replied, "Will you grant me passage?"
This was bad. The badge that laid upon the desert floor before him was not like Vict's own. It was not a piece of metal. This was an actual biolocked minicomp. This badge could only be carried by those who had the full weight of the Restored Pan-Continental Alliance behind them as well as the Oligarch itself. Each badge was said to be a miniature mainframe that could be used to open any digital lock, access any account, and take control over any computer system if needed. If it still used a computer, it would yield to the badge if the wielder wished it. If that wasn't bad enough, if it was handled by anyone other than the biolocked owner it would administer a lethal discharge. Still, Vict hesitated.
"We don't really have a lot of use for the PCA this far out in wastes," he remarked, "Figured they forgot all about us."
"Just focused on other more pressing matters at the moment," the marshal clarified, "Cooperation now would be in your best interest."
Vict recognized a threat when he heard one. What's more, now that the badge had been thrown out, he was certain the Oligarch itself was listening in on them. The last thing the Wall needed was a cybernetic army marching down upon them.
"Yeah, well," Vict said as he stepped slightly to one side. Not quite yielding passage but not completely blocking it either.
"I still have to consider the people beyond," he explained.
"You have my oath my quarrel is not with you nor the people of the wall or the points beyond," the man said formally, "My bond is the apprehension of a singular individual."
"Do you swear," Vict asked, "That you will cause no harm to anyone other than your current assignment?"
"I make no such guarantees," the stranger countered, "I am entrusted to enforce the Oligarch's law. However, if you insist, I swear I will not exercise more force than is deemed necessary to achieve this goal and I will not interfere with any matters that I may observe that are outside the scope of my immediate objective regardless of their legal stature within the PCA save for Class II felonies or above. Such acts would supersede any oath I am authorized to provide."
Legal speak for "if I see someone being murdered, raped, or dismembered I'm legally required to interfere. But I won't stop people from lying, cheating, gambling, or partaking of illegal substances." Considering the authority the badge was offering, it was actually a very generous concession. A little too generous and one that immediately raised suspicions.
"And what do you expect in return for such an oath?" he asked.
"You have armed men behind you," the stranger noted, "Are they available if I require the assistance of a posse?"
"They're armed," Vict confirmed, "And trained for what it's worth. But I need them here."
"I did not ask that they be removed from service indefinitely," the stranger said, "I am asking if I have need of additional gunmen if you will provide them."
"And if I saw no?"
"Your gate is mechanized," the marshal pointed out, "Presumably computerized as well. As would be many of your wall's defenses."
"So I either take your oath and cooperate willingly or you take it by force?" Vict replied before grunting, "And if I tell my men to fire?"
"Then you simply have to hope they kill me first before I shoot any of them," the stranger said, "Otherwise I will have their corpses start shooting at you."
Vict sighed.
"You also offered payment before?" he reminded the stranger.
"An offer that was conditional on me not having to reveal my badge," the stranger said, "What is your response?"
"Your oath then," he said, "I need something to show we enacted our duty to protect the interior."
"Then you have it," the stranger said, "I swear to harm no one beyond this gate save in purview of my lawfully sworn duty and the scope of my current quarry."
There was a chirp from the badge. Vict assumed this meant the Oligarch had acknowledged the oath. If memory served, the oath of a marshal was considered a law in of itself. The badge would make certain its wielder stayed true to this pledge. With lethal force if necessary.
The rider came closer and now Vict could smell the rotting flesh as well as see it. The horse did not breathe, he noted. It moved silently and robotically with no external cues from its rider.
"Could you hand that back to me, please?" the rider asked while pointing at the fallen badge. Vict hesitated.
"It won't sting you as long as I am present and have given you authorization to touch it," the marshal assured him. Vict could not afford to lose more face in front of his men. This encounter had been humbling enough as is. He picked up the silver bar. Nothing happened. The surface was cool to the touch but did not otherwise harm him. If not for the dancing lights just below the metallic surface he might suspect it was a forgery. He handed it back to the rider and hoped he did not appear to be in a hurry to be rid of the thing.
"Thank you," the rider said and looked through the tunnel ahead.
"What town is beyond that gate?" he asked.
"The closest one is the town of Clean Air," Vict told him and shrugged, "It's an older settlement. Mostly just a few farmers and a saloon. Not much happening there. But you can get a bed for the night if you need it at the saloon." The rider nodded and started to ride forward. Without knowing quite why he did, Vict decided to add, "If you continue west and follow the ridge line you can find the Healing Valley.."
The horse froze mid step.
"What did you say?" the rider's speaker crackled.
"If you ride a few days west along the ridge line you will find the Healing Valley," Vict said, "At least, that's what I've heard. Everyone is heading there these days. Maybe your man is well."
"These Healing Valley," the rider asked, "What is it?"
"I don't know, really," Vict admitted, "Some new commune or settlement. I don't know. They say there is some sort of spring there or something that has a healing arcana. All I know is that the lands are very fertile and they say even mutants can drink from these waters and be renewed."
"You said it is to the west along the ridge line?"
"Yes," Vict said and, before he could add more detail, the dead horse surged forward into a gallop. The horse and rider went through the gate into the good lands at a pace no normal steed could hope to maintain. The horse kept this breakneck pace up without tiring as it flew past the settlement of clean air and angled towards the ridgeline beyond. As the sun sank the horse galloped on without showing other signs of fatigue. The rider, meanwhile, reached up with one hand to unbuckle the straps of his mask. Moving with the horse and anticipating each movement as if they were somehow joined together, he managed to free himself from the confines of the mask and breathed unhindered for the first time since leaving the Citadel across the wastes.
By the time the sun rose again the horse was beyond even his ability to sustain. The leg bones had cracked until the wear of racing along the rocky path at full speed and ruptures had appeared all across its flanks. He eventually led it to the side of the road and into a small gully between some stones. There he released his grip upon its body and allowed the flesh to resume its normal decaying processes. It was of no concern anyway. He could tell he was in the right place.
"Kincaid's here," he subvocalized. The implant just below his right ear heard him all the same and the Oligarch's response was immediate.
"Have you made visual contact?"
"No," he admitted, "But I can see evidence of his work. There is a valley below me. Lush fields of green with crops too large to grow by natural means."
"You are certain this is his work?"
"There's no death," he said, "I can't sense any at all around me. Even the soil. There is no decomposition taking place. The ground itself is essentially sterile. The only thing keeping these crops alive is his will." The Oligarch was silent for a moment. That in itself was troubling. It's processes worked many times faster than a human's. What could cause it to hesitate?
"Repositioning a satellite," the Oligarch explained for him, "And initial telemetry indicates you may have a bigger problem than we thought. That valley extends for several kilometers to the north and south of you. I estimate its total area to be in excess of 400 square kilometers."
"His power is still growing," the marshal concluded grimly.
"Even our worst case projections did not account for this," the Oligarch confirmed, "The area of influence is enormous and for him to sustain that much power without arcanic blowback is unheard of. This should not be possible with the resources available to a human mind."
"He's not exactly human anymore," the rider reminded the Oligarch.
"No," it confirmed, "He is not. Still, the organic strain should be crippling. He must be using his own power to sustain himself. That should be creating a feedback loop."
The rider nodded.
"Maybe the valley is a way of bleeding off the excess?" he suggested.
"Plausible," the Oligarch said, "But that creates a scaling issue. At some point he will be exerting more just to keep the blowback from consuming him than even his own enhanced vitality can maintain."
"When will that happen?"
"Uncertain," the Oligarch admitted, "I already stated this does not fit within current models. There is more."
"Don't tell me," the rider said, "The zone of no death means that my own arcana will be diminished."
"Or absent entirely," the Oligarch admitted, "Given that he cannot sustain this level of involvement indefinitely I believe this most likely indicates he is aware of you and that you are walking into a trap."
"So what do you suggest?" the rider asked, "Wait it out? See if he collapses and then go in?"
"The sphere of influence has already corrupted the local ecosystem and is likely impacting residents as well," the Oligarch said, "If this is allowed to progress unabated the damage is likely irreversible and may have a cascading effect on neighboring ecosystems."
"So if I don't walk into the trap," the rider translated, "We may have a full on ecological meltdown that will cost millions of lives. If I do go in and try to do damage control, I'm going in without my arcana?"
"You could return to the Wall and recruit more allies," the Oligarch suggested.
"No good," the rider said, "Once we go in then Kincaid can twist them too. They are all living people. Can you send a drop ship in?"
"If I could spare one do you think I would have sent you?"
"No," the rider agreed and sighed, "All right, into the trap I go."
The stranger returned his attention to the dead horse beside the road. In the short time he had been distracted a swarm of insects and all manner of flying and burrowing creatures had descended upon the animal. It's hide now was a virtual living carpet of creatures feasting upon the first real meal they had had in who knows how long. Before this he was certain it was only the power of Kincaid's aracana that had been keeping them alive. Alive but starving. Well, if Kincaid didn't know he was here before this had just sent up a big flare. Grimacing, he reached into the swarm of insects to retrieve his rifle from the saddle.
Walking into the valley below was surprisingly uneventful. No one rose to challenge him nor did any feral creatures attempt to accost him. If he didn't know better, he would think this was just another agricultural sector in the PCA. In fact, now that he was closer, the crops closest to him appeared to be the standard genetically engineered high yield wheat hybrid grown in the AgSec. Only a full meter taller. As he drew closer he caught the sounds of someone in one of the fields ahead of him. Curious, he slung the rifle's strap over his shoulder and checked both pistols were firmly in their holsters. Cautiously, he approached the source of the noise.
He found himself stepping into a small clearing among the dense grains occupied by an elderly man wearing what appeared to be tattered clothing that had a homespun look to it. The trousers were frayed at the ends and had been patched so many times and with such a variety of fabrics it was difficult to determine the original coloring. A brown vest covered his chest and left his arms exposed. The man was facing away and appeared to be attempting to cut down a swath of the grain using a sickle held awkwardly in the man's left arm. This was despite the fact that the man's right arm appeared to be more than twice the size of his left and had an uneven lumpy appearance as well as several gnarled scars across the surface. Holding his right arm stiffly, the man swung the tool. The stalks tumbled to the ground around him and the man cursed again.
"It's growing back too damned fast!" the man shouted at last.
"What is?" the stranger asked, "The wheat?"
The farmer wheeled around with his blade held high as if preparing to strike. The stranger, though armed, held his hands out to the sides in a gesture of peace. The farmer looked him up and down as if evaluating him before deciding to lower his blade.
"Who are you?" the farmer asked.
"Just a friend passing through," the stranger replied, "I heard you back here and thought you might need some help."
"Friend, eh?" the farmer asked with a snort, "You don't look like any friend I know." The stranger nodded his head towards the crops.
"What seems to be the problem?" he asked.
The farmer rolled his eyes back towards the recently felled grains and snorted.
"Look for yourself," he instructed, "See those stalks I just cut? Watch em."
The stranger did. It did not take long to notice what the farmer wished him to see.
"They are regenerating," the stranger declared.
"That's one way of looking at it," the farmer snarled, "Being a damned nuisance is another. There is supposed to be a path here to get back to my house. I can't clear it faster than it tries to grow back. I can't even leave those grains on the ground too long or they start sprouting as well."
"Can you burn a path?"
The farmer shook his head.
"Doesn't work," he explained, "Fires just go out and the plants heal themselves. You're new, aren't you?" The stranger nodded.
"I just came from the Wall," he explained, "I heard of a place called the Healing Valley and thought I would see it for myself."
"Healing Valley?" the old man spat, "Guess now that the Minister's here calling it plain old Coppertown ain't good enough for the likes of them."
"The Minister?"
"Look, son," the old man said patiently, "I ain't got all day to spend here talking to the likes of you. Now, you want to talk then you can help. You reap and I'll bag 'em."
The stranger seemed to consider arguing but finally nodded. He unclipped the respirator and mask from his chest before unslinging his rifle. He then doffed his coat and hat before bundling the gun and smaller items inside the confines of the coat. The stranger could be seen clearly now and the old man found himself staring at a younger man with sharp features and a hawkish beak of a nose. The stranger's hair was black and full unlike the old man's stringy gray locks. The hair was kept brushed straight back in what appeared to be a choice of convenience rather than aesthetics. The stranger's face was neither cruel nor kind nor even particularly handsome. It was just an everyman face. So why did the old man feel so certain this stranger who called himself a friend was hiding something behind those dark eyes?
"Name's Yacob," the farmer introduced himself, "What do they call you?"
The stranger didn't reply. He simply picked up the sickle and started hacking at the grains with quick and efficient motions. He did not have the skill nor the technique of an actual farmer, but he made up for it in speed. Yacob found himself hobbling along after the man while shoveling fallen grains into a sack.
"So, not big on names, eh?" Yacob remarked, "That's fine. I'll just call you Cat for the moment."
"Cat?"
"Because you should mind what curiosity did to one of those," Yacob snapped, "You just keep cutting and I'll answer your questions. But only until we get to the porch. Once we reach the house the deal's done."
"How far is the house?"
"Not far else I wouldn't have made the offer. So stop wasting time and ask what you came for. I know you ain't here to admire wheat."
"Fine," the stranger said, "Tell me about the Minister." Yacob shrugged.
"Not much to tell you," he said, "He showed up here about a year ago. Big talking man like you. Wouldn't tell us his name either. Just started talking like he was a preacher man. Going on about the rightful place of man and unshackling ourselves from the burden of slavery. Real 'make the world a better place' nonsense. Folks didn't really listen to him at first. But then the miracles started happening."
"Miracles?" the stranger grunted as he cut, "Like what sort of miracles?"
"I was getting to that!" Yacob snapped, "Don't rush me! Now when I say 'miracles' I don't mean loaves of fishes falling from Heaven. I mean like Bailey Moskva being able to walk again. Or Happy Tam regaining his vision. People in the town just started getting better. Healthier. But it didn't stop there. The crops were dying. Only they just stopped. Vegetables that were dying on the vine the day before got better. That kind of miracle."
The stranger, who was just now starting to breathe heavy from the exertion, only nodded his understanding and continued to hack away at the grains. He used to tool more like a machete than as a harvesting tool but, again, it was still better progress than Yacob could make on his own.
"In the early days we all thought that, well, maybe this Minister was onto something," Yacob went on, "He kept talking prosperity and we were feeling it, ya kin? Even the most piss poor farmer was having a bumper crop. All these lame folks who worked in the mines were getting healed up. Even the sick and the dying were up and walking around. It seemed like the good days would never end and people were praising the Minister and all his bollocks."
"But not you?" the stranger asked between gasps of exertion.
"Oh I fell for it to," Yacob said, "Me a hardcore believer, that I was. I even stood there smiling proudly as he took my Abby into his inner circle."
"Abby?" the stranger asked.
"My daughter," Yacob admitted with a sigh as he bent over to pick up more of the fallen wheat, "My little girl. She was such a delight to me and looked after me after the passing of my Elsie. All of twenty two years old and when the Minister said he chose her I was proud as a peacock."
The stranger slowed his frantic hacking.
"Something happened?" he asked, "With Abby?"
"Bah!" Yacob said, "Never you mind. That's none of your concern. I told you what you wanted to know. Now ask something else!"
"Why didn't you ask him to heal your arm?" the stranger asked.
Yacob froze in place and blanched.
"What?" he stammered.
The stranger paused and turned to point at the engorged and irregularly shaped right arm held limply at Yacob's side.
"Why didn't you-?"
"I heard what you said!" Yacob shouted, "Stand aside! I don't want any more of your help! Be off!"
The stranger didn't move.
"I meant no offense," he said, "It just appears that you have had a-"
The stranger moved his hand to indicate the swollen right arm. Yacob, seeing the movement, misinterpreted and jumped backwards while yelping. To the stranger's surprise, the right arm moved. Not only did it move on its own, he heard a faint whirring sound as it did. Yacob howled in pain and dropped to the ground. Blood trickled from an open wound in the arm that wasn't there before.
"Now you see what you made me do?" Yacob asked between clenched teeth, "That metal cuts right through!"
The sickle fell from the marshal's limp fingers. Those bumps. He recognized them now. They were in the approximate position and size for servo motors. Which could only mean one thing.
"That's a cybernetic arm," he said out loud.
"'Course it it!" Yacob snapped, "I lost the real one sixteen years ago in the mines! The mechasurgeon fitted me with a new one. Never really gave me any problems until this skin started growing over top of it."
Of course, the marshal realized. He should have realized. With the field of the arcana flooding the area even old wounds, healed wounds, would be affected. Growing a new arm would be impossible with the prosthetic in place. But escasing it with a new layer of skin was still possible. He felt sickened at the thought of living flesh growing over the metal arm and getting trapped inside the motors and actuators. The skin stretching and tearing only to heal over and do it again and again. He suddenly understood the bitterness of the farmer. He picked up the sickle, turned, and hacked at the vegetation with renewed vigor. Kincaid would pay for this. He would pay.
"Wait," Yacob said, "I told you-"
"I'm getting to your house," the marshal growled, "That was the agreement. You answered your questions and now I am doing my part."
He paused for a moment to lower the blade but only for as long as it took to unbutton the cuffs of his sleeves and to roll them up. He then resumed his relentless hacking and slashing. After a few minutes of labor he found himself staggering free from the dense vegetation and standing upon a wooden platform. Blinking in confusion, he lowered the tool and realized he was standing on the porch that had been his original objective. He dropped the sickle and turned to go. He found his way blocked by a cursing Yacob limping after him while dragging the marshal's coat and rifle in his wake with his one functional arm.
"Slow down!" Yacob gasped as he joined the marshal on the porch, "I can't keep up with your-"
Yacob'e eyes grew wide as he froze in mid step. The marshal looked in the direction of the man's gaze to see if he could find what had alarmed the man. It took him a moment to realize it was the fine parallel lines of the scars running along the marshal's own forearms. The lines, usually too faint to see, were an angry red from his recent exertion.
"It's just an implant," the marshal said between gasping breaths, "I'm a cyborg like yourself."
"Like me nothing," the farmer counted, "Them's battle implants. Are you a deserter?"
That was an interesting question.
"Do you get many deserters here?" the stranger asked as he retrieved his property from the limp grip of the older man.
"A few," Yacob admitted with a shrug, "Mostly PCA. Sometimes Oceania. Which are you?"
"I'm . . . not a deserter."
The old man snorted.
"I'm not," the marshal said, "It's complicated."
"Well," the old man said with another shrug, "At least now I know how you were able to push yourself like that. I hear those implants really juice you boys up."
The marshal didn't answer. Instead he turned to take his leave.
"Wait," Yacob said as he placed a restraining hand on the marshal's chest, "I didn't mean to yell at you earlier. It's just . . . it's not a good idea to talk about the Minister like that. Not out in the open. Not everyone sees him the way I do."
"I understand," the marshal said and then stepped to one side, "I have inconvenienced you enough for one day."
"You know him, don't you?" the old man asked as the marshal stepped up beside him, "That's why you were so keen to ask me those questions. Is that why you're here? You're after him?"
"Thank you for your hospitality, Yacob," the marshal replied, "I should go."
"Wait," the old man pleaded, "You should know about something if you plan on facing him."
"What is that?" the marshal asked while turning to face the smaller man. With a pained expression on his face, Yacob lifted his mangled prosthetic. The marshal heard the whir of servos fighting against the flesh coating. The farmer held up his arm and showed the unlined palm of his hand to the marshal. There was a peculiar bulge there.
"This," Yacob said just before a lightning bolt erupted from the palm of his hand and tore through the marshal's chest only to explode out the backside. The marshal crumbled to the porch with a look of confusion still painting his features.
Tune in for our next exciting episode!
submitted by semiloki to HFY [link] [comments]

What Your Favorite $MEME $TONK$ Say About You

(For humorous purposes only. This is a shitpost, please excuse all factual inaccuracies and omissions)
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$AAPL: Cloud computing and SaaS are for nerds. Chinese ppl luv ifone, therefor Tim Apple go brrrrrr
$ACB: Thank god $ACB came through just as you ran out of stimulus money and almost couldn’t afford edibles.
$AMD: You picture SuBae during sex. Cathie who??
$AMZN: “You never actually own $AMZN, you merely look after it for the next generation.” If you know, you know, if not you probably can't afford $AMZN.
$BA: Boeing pleas fly. Literally.
$BABA: WHERE IS JACK MA??!!?!?!!
$BB: It’s 2012, and you’ve just discovered how to connect your Curve to your car with bluetooth.
$BRK.B: “Scared money never makes money.” Scared, as in scared to tell your friends your account still hasn’t fully recovered from the COVID crash.
$DASH: You have a list handy at all times explaining why we are not in a repeat of the dot com bubble.
$DIS: Who knew betraying your childhood memories could be so profitable?
$F: F
$FB: You are just happy you don’t own $TWTR… right?
$GME: You believe in the Squeeze like Seventh Day Adventists believe in the Second Coming. RC is God and DFV is His prophet, blessed be his tendies.
$GOOG: You have a pet chameleon, or python, or some other cool but slow-moving animal.
$MSFT: You are a boomer, but want to hang with the youths so you bought some LEAPS. No one thinks you’re cool.
$MT: You are patient and still care a bit about fundamentals. You would honestly make a good “investor” if gambling wasn’t so much fun.
$MRNA: $PFE HOLDERS HATE HIM! for making a better vaccine with this ONE WEIRD TRICK!!!
$NIO: You liked Winnie the Pooh as a kid, but now have a nagging suspicion that he will snatch away your tendies like it’s democracy in Hong Kong.
$NKLA: You are retarded, and have the clinical records to prove it.
$PLTR: You have no idea what this company does, besides manufacture 🚀🚀🚀. There used to be a lot more of you…
$PLUG: Something something gold rush, selling shovels, etc. etc.
$PTON: For the fiftieth time, No, you did not mean Palantir. You wish it were summer 2020.
$PSTH: You don’t like to take no for an answer, like when the co-founder of Stripe told you no, there is no deal with Bill SPACman.
$SPCE: You’re really just waiting for the SpaceX IPO.
$TSLA: At this point, you are either buying your third Lambo or selling your 2004 Corolla for a margin call. There is no in between. Remember, Elon giveth, and Elon taketh away.
$TWTR: #Pray4TWTR
$ZOOM: You belong here.
​
Edit: Positions - MSFT, PLTR, CSCO, CMBM, TMUS, PFE
submitted by ygao97 to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]

Hunter or Huntress Chapter 65: Uhm Who Is In Charge?

What is this only a day between posts? it's a miracle. The sleep schedule has taken a hit for this one so I hope you enjoy it. Twoflower68 is trucking along trying to keep this all a lot less messy than the results of 3 AM writing by a goblin with a chaingun-typewriter normally would.
Anywho it's time we see how our impromptu boy band gets along and whether Sapphire has already been bored to death from sitting around. So let's get on with the show.
ko-fi for those feeling generous
Sapphire
First Previous Next
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Chapter 65: Uhm Who Is In Charge?
“I told you we should have brought someone who knew where we were going” Jarix protested as they flew along the forest's edge.
They had been at this for nearly an hour now and no sign of any dragonettes. Tom reckoned Jarix was fast even on the cruise Tom reckoned maybe 130 to 140 as they went along. Meaning they had likely covered over 80 kilometers already accounting for a bit of backtracking here and there. And yet they had found nothing.
“This doesn’t make sense, could they still be on the ground searching for those herb things?” Tom questioned.
“Look don’t ask any of us, we have no clue” Radexi defended.
“Let’s land for a bit before we get completely lost.”
“Okay then, go down low and circle back again, I’m used to navigating by ground, let’s see if we can find where we hunted those red deer.”
“Fine, at least that is more fun than this,” Jarix replied, clearly not very optimistic.
Radexi and Tom took a shoulder each as they sat peering out ahead trying to spot something.
It took a while but they finally came across a familiar-looking hilltop.
“There, left turn one eighth” They seriously needed to improve on this system.
“Left turn” Jarix replied, flying over the hilltop and sure enough there were the tracks left by his quadbike… why hadn’t they just followed those?
“Goddammit, I’m an idiot. We could just have followed those tracks”
“What why… what is that?” Jarix questioned.
“My quad bike, you’ll see soon enough those lead home.”
“You really aren't good at this are you?” Radexi added from behind.
“Yeah yeah, I can't fly that’s my excuse. Well, we are where we are supposed to now. So where are they?”
“I’m gonna get some altitude so they can see us.”
Jarix climbed up hard, he was surprisingly nimble for his size and even seemed to be able to match the dragonettes for climb-rate. He wasn’t even breathing hard from doing so either.
“Jarix targets two-thirds left. Is that them?” Radexi asked, pointing to the horizon. Tom strained to look. He did make out four dots on the horizon which seemed to be approaching. That was behind them though.
“Yep” came the reply from Jarix. “Turning to intercept” It took a few minutes for the range to close but eventually Tom could make them out as well.
As they reached each other the dragonettes turned to match Jarix's direction, setting down on his back. All seeming a little winded, especially Wiperna.
“Why didn’t you stop? We’ve been chasing for kilometers." Fengi questioned setting down.
“I didn’t see you” Tom replied. Zarko looked less than pleased.
“Who was rear lookout?” Radexi and Tom looked at each other. “For a teacher you sure suck at learning Tom and I expect better from you.” She went pointing at Radexi.
Wiperna was still wheezing trying to catch her breath clearly not used to this kind of flying.
“Whu… why are you so fast?”
“That is my job, who gave me such a kind compliment?” Jarix responded.
“Wiperna” She got out.
“Right, you’re the one whose fields I need to plow I think”
“This is a weird day” Wiperna went, giving up and just laying down.
“So you all look tired” Tom tried in as innocent a voice as he could manage.
“I’m not” Jackalope replied with her usual lack of tact standing proudly with of all things two jackalopes hanging over her shoulder. ‘touche’ Tom thought to himself.
“Well, that is good to hear” Zarko replied in a discouraging tone which achieved exactly nothing.
“Wanna race?”
“Uhh yeah,” Jarix replied as if that was the easiest question ever, which to his credit it might well be. “Not with all you lot on board you are rather heavy you know”
Tom looked around at the six people currently standing on Jarix’s back while flying. Well, Wiperna was still lying down which didn't really help with the space situation.
“Oh shut it Jarix it’s good exercise,” Zarko replied
“I flew nearly a week to get here. I don't need more exercise right now and my belly is full from last night as well.”
“Yesterday you were starving, now you're overfed. Does a happy medium exist?”
“Fewer people on my back would do nicely”
“Oh, poor dragon who can’t handle a few passengers”
“Really? How about I try and stand on you one day and see how that goes” They were clearly joking. Tom guessed they had known each other for a while. Based on what Archeon said, Jarix should be good for over a ton of cargo probably more. “And I only said if I was going to race someone.”
“Uhm before any racing could we not get some hunting?” Fengi asked. “Tom, could you do that trick you and Sapphire did again?”
“Sure I think Jarix has a better idea though.”
There was a bit of a crackle, then a boom, that made everyone flinch, followed by a chuckle from Jarix.
“Oh yeah, I do.”
Jackalopes excitement was both visible and audible as she cheered “Best hunt ever. No offense Tom”
”Hell no I can’t compete with a flying lightning cannon… Not yet at least”
“Isn’t that irresponsible?” Wiperna questioned.
“I’m not a huntress, who has seniority here?”Zarko replied. It was at that moment Tom realized the catastrophic error that had been committed, as he turned to Jackalope who was standing there obliviously. The only silvered huntress present.
As it finally clicked for her, she began cackling madly rubbing her hands together. “Let's get started”
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Sapphire was getting the distinct impression Baltehon was making this easy for her. Not once had she even had to go for something philosophical or even a metaphor. She didn’t mind, but after a while, the game did sort of die a bit. She had learned the one to her left, was called Canabrera, she was a little older than Sapphire, only a few years though and they had gotten a decent conversation going.
She even knew where Vultcha Keep was, apparently having made a few stops there in the past, having served with another trader who had elected to take some time off having made enough money for a while.
Canabrera was one of the newly hired escorts following the bloody battle to reach Bizmati keep. After a bit, Canabrera brought out some dice in a little box with a glass lid. Sapphire hadn’t seen one before. it was rather clever, even if you had to time the dice throws with the wingbeats to keep them from rolling around.
Sapphire had never been a gambling person, but a friendly game was always good fun. She glanced over at Baron every once in a while. As much as she would like to berate the bitch all the way there she was fairly confident things were gonna be more entertaining over here. She wondered how they would manage with Jarix back home. She had never seen a dragon hunt before, Esmeralda would get him in line though she was sure of that… Wait.
“Dakota!”
“What is it Saph?” Dakota replied, seemingly a bit confused at the sudden outburst.
“We left Jacky in charge of the hunt, with a dragon and Tom” Dakota developed a sort of deep thousand-yard stare. Not answering
“Ohh noo” Balethon added, shaking his head.
“What’s the matter, surely it can’t be that bad, she seemed friendly enough,” Canebrera questioned.
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“Target dead ahead, we’ll break ’em up for ya. Fengi, Wiperna with me. Wanna come Zarko?”
“I’m fine here, the boys need some oversight I think.” This was yet another in the long list of stupid ideas that might work. Tom should maybe have tried to take some more responsibility but Jackalope was in charge so any disasters were on her after all. IT didn’t hurt that he really wanted to see how this lightning breath worked.
“Suit yourself, Geronimo!”
“Does she actually know what she is doing?” Radexi questioned.
“More than any of us I’m afraid” Tom answered.
“She seems very sensible” Jarix added, sounding perfectly serious. Perhaps assessing people’s character should be worked into the lessons Tom thought to himself.
The three girls set about herding the deer away from the forest further into the open marshes. Jarix following behind from above so as not to scare them yet.
“Now Tom this is gonna be a steep dive. Make sure those goggles are secure and you hang on tight.” Zarko went in a serious tone. Tom had no clue how quickly an 8-ton dragon could dive but it was likely fairly fast, so he did as instructed. He moved to make sure he had both good foot and handholds.
“They’re starting to split up now, here we go” Jarix pitched down pulling his wings in close to his sides as they began to fall. The sensation of being pulled down by Jarix was different from when Tom had flown with the dragonettes. They fell at about the same rate this was like holding onto an elevator with its cables cut. As the dive continued Tom guessed they were well above terminal velocity for a human. They had maybe 1.000 meters of altitude to scrub and Jarix didn’t seem to mind falling most of the way in one go.
Tom pulled himself close to Jarix lying as flat as he could manage the wind screaming in his ears. He had no clue how fast they were going, but he was fairly sure this was a new speed record for him in this world. Zarko and especially Radexi seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely, even if Tom was unsure as to whether it was the dive or him providing the entertainment.
As they approached the ground Jarix started to slowly extend his wings, but only by a little. Tom looked around fighting the wind to get a better look. He was making a kind of delta wing? As the young dragon started to pull up the familiar sense of G-forces returned it was a strange feeling when lying on top of something but it was no less thrilling. This was a proper rollercoaster.
“Wuuuhuuu!!” Tom let out in glee. Oh yeah, this was about as much fun as he had imagined as a kid.
They came upon the herd of red deer they were still traveling at considerable speed. Tom strained to get as good a look as he could manage, looking over the side in front of Jarix’s left-wing.
He saw Jackalope off to the side, clearly positioned to get the best view she could as they came speeding by. Tom felt the hairs on his neck stand on end as the air around him almost started to crackle. The sound was more like that of a rail gun charging as Jarix inhaled it with a static electric whine that sent shivers down Tom’s spine. Followed by a single bright streak of bluish light that looked more like a beam than a lightning bolt. It impacted the ground in a split second resulting in a bright flash with lightning arcing in every direction, even in the middle of that day it was perfectly visible.
No long breath spreading the love around, it was like a single shot that hit the ground, followed by an echoing boom. Jarix hadn’t even managed to hit one of the deer, but the electrical arcs could be seen spreading through the grass as they went by.
Jarix pulled in a fresh breath letting out a sigh.
“Pheew, that oughta do it”
“Good shot, right on target”
“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Radexi added.
Tom looked behind them to see, maybe half a dozen deer all lying legs in the air, the grass blackened all around the small crater in the ground. The three girls came circling down as the remaining deer bolted in a blind panic.
“Holy shit” Tom let out gawking. That was one hell of a weapon, and he had been worried about a damn machine gun.
“Try that on for size, mister nearly as well-armed as me” Jarix went in a sarcastic tone, scoring a short laugh from Zarko and Radexi.
“Not gonna argue with that. Though it would be more like a storm of lightning”
“Oh I can do that too” Jarxi clarified “Spitting works great for ground targets though”
“You can say that again”
They had come down next to the others taking a look at the damage, which was extensive. Jackalope was beside herself with excitement of course.
“That was awesome, look at them! I mean that one is a bit busted, but still, look at them!”
Tom glanced around at the fairly singed looking deer, one clearly having been a bit close to the impact site. It was a disfigured mess hardly recognizable as a deer. He slid off Jarix to have a look around, inspecting the ground and the impact crater.
“You want that one Jarix? I mean it’s already sorta cooked.” Jackalope then went. pointing at the chared deer.
“Eew no, I don’t like raw meat, that’s for savages”
“We can light a fire under it if you want” She continued
“No thanks,” Jarxi replied, clearly not thrilled with the prospect.
“Isn’t this cruel?” Wiperna had questioned, clearly disturbed by the scene. In hindsight bringing the resident animal lover along might not have been the brightest idea, they had ever had.
“I doubt a deer has died this quickly around here in a while. Well short of when Sapphire decides to show off, anywho we need to get these back to the keep.” Jackalope’s answer sounding a tad annoyed at the part about Sapphire. “How much can you carry Jarix?”
Jarix took a step back looking at all the six dead deer. “Five is no problem” He finally replied, looking at the mangled one Tom was now inspecting.
“What’s the matter, soldier? Scared of blood?” Tom questioned
“No of course not. I’ll take five, they look heavy.”
“I guess we will have to come back for the last one then.” Tom just stated, getting up.
“But my harness” Jarix pleaded. Tom had to admit it was very nice. Mostly made of the dark blue leather the dragonettes seemed to use for most things. There were some white pieces here and there though. Most of the handholds were polished metal too and there was even some engraving on parts of the armor plates.
“A soldier that doesn’t want to get dirty? I have shown you what a soldier is expected to go through, does this look bad to you? Or do I need to get a mud bath going?”
“I’ll take all six... think you can scrub it out?” Jarix went looking to Radexi with a pained expression on his face.
“Sure thing boss” Well at least Radexi was still positive.
“I’ll grant you though it’s a nice harness. Perhaps we should have something less nice made for things like this.”
“But it’s mine though It was a gift from my mother.”
“Yeah, but there is no use ruining it. It should survive a bit of blood though if it’s as well made as it looks.” Jarix just let out a discontented grump as an answer.
By the time they had finished carrying all the deer up and lashing them down securely, Jarix looked more like a medivac for a fictional deer army than a hunter on the job. It did the trick though and they were soon airborne, the girls having gotten the herb collecting done prior to their arrival.
They had matched cruising speeds, the dragonettes flying under their own power with Jarix breaking the wind for them. It wasn’t fair that he had to carry both everything and everyone, after all. They had tried to keep the mess to a minimum but still, Radexi would have his work cut out for him.
They had set down outside the keep to begin the process of prepping the carcasses. Unkai and Herron had come down to meet them. In Tom and Esmeralda's stead, they had been tasked with taking care of the children for at least some of the day. Judging by the crying and the two very weary faces that had been a tall order even for a couple of hours.
“Hey Turinia, how is it going?” Tom tried in his best diplomatic voice.
“Holdey bit me” Turinia let out sobbing a bit.
“Holdey! that isn’t nice. Come here let me have a look at that.” Well, bite might have been a bit of an exaggeration, but there were actually teeth marks. Tom had struggled a bit with coming to terms with the at times slightly more violent tendencies of the dragonettes. This wasn’t that bad though.
“But she took my bricks!”
“NO, I was playing with them!”
“If you keep fighting over blocks of wood, like this you are never gonna get those legos I talked about. Now come here” Tom picked up Turinia to try and comfort her.
“Now now, no harm done and you shouldn’t take what isn’t yours either. Would you two help them unload? I’ll take care of this.” Raulf and Herron looked rather relieved at the prospect of physical labor so they must have had a rough time of it.
“Get yourself cleaned off Jarix and take some time off. There will be another movie tonight, a bit more fun than last time though..”
“Another movie?” Jackalope questioned excitedly.
“Yep two in fact, not about war though, but I think you are gonna like it.” Jackalope looked a little slack-eared, but Fengi and Wiperna definitely perked up at that.
So with Kiran clambering up to his usual perched Tom went about the next duty of his day. Trying to figure out whose bricks had been stolen and by whom. Maybe he should just make more bricks for them. That would have to come after winding the coils for the motor though. He wondered if Shiva was still conscious enough to discuss that?
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So big dragon go *zap boom* and need some kleenex. As always I do hope enjoyed the chapter and the story as a whole, most of you certainly seem to do so. If you got any feedback, questions, or general banta by all means take to the comment's section below. I love prowling around down there looking for something interesting or hilarious.
Until next time have an awesome day.
​
ko-fi for those feeling generous
First Previous Next
submitted by Tigra21 to HFY [link] [comments]

Guide To Hit 40 By December 31st

I'm seeing a lot of people asking "can I make it to 40 in time?" around here. Just a few weeks ago, I was also one of those people. I was only lv 35 (~6.6 mil total xp) as of November 20, and was seriously doubting that I could reach lv 40 by the end of the year. I decided to try anyway, and as I did, I learned a lot of things that could be useful to others who are also on the grind. As of December 3, I'm currently 1/2 way through lv 38 (13,651,379xp), so I'm on pace to hit my goal even though many people told me it was impossible.
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Edit: I reached level 40 way ahead or schedule on December 13, gaining a total of 13.5 million xp between Nov 18 and then, averaging roughly 520,000xp per day. My worst daily xp gain was 193,117 (played for about an hour then went home because it started raining) and my best was 1,081,135 (community day, multiple raids, 2 mass evolutions).
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Just to start with, please above all else stay safe. There's a global pandemic going on and as much as we all love this game, it isn't worth risking the health of yourself or others if you are unable to play safely. Please follow your local health guidelines and wear a mask. Also, for those of us who live in colder areas, be sure to stay warm. :)
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Now on to the tips I have to share (in no particular order):
1) Quantify Your Goal
Do the math. Hitting level 40 requires a total of 20 million xp. Take a look at how much you still need, how many days you have, and figure out how much you need to average per day to accomplish that goal. Once you have that daily quota, decide if you think that is feasible for you. If so, you can use it to motivate yourself. Try to not give up for the day until you hit at least that amount, and if you feel up to it, surpass that goal as often as possible to make things easier for your future self. That said, don't be discouraged if you fall short of your quota sometimes. Daily xp totals can fluctuate, and good days can make up for the bad ones. I've had days during this grind where I've earned less than 200,000xp, and a day where I earned over 1 million xp. It's all about the average.
2a) Mass Evolving
With the recent xp rebalance, evolving a pokemon is now worth 1,000xp. That means it can be quite lucrative to stockpile pokemon and then evolve them all at once with a lucky egg active. Pidgey, Weedle, Whismur, and other pokemon that cost 12 candy to evolve are ideal, but every evolution is worth the same amount of xp. With a lucky egg going, you'll get 2,000xp every time you evolve something. You'd be surprised how much xp you can earn in half an hour this way. I typically try to keep my bag clear of any pokemon I don't intend to keep or have enough candy to evolve. Then, when I'm out of space and feel like I've got a lot (50+) ready to evolve, I mass evolve them with a lucky egg, transfer the evolutions, and start catching again. If you use the mass evolution method, it's VERY important that you make sure to save enough pokemon for...
2b) December 29th Spotlight Hour
During this event (6pm to 7pm local time), you'll earn double xp for evolutions, which stacks with lucky eggs. That's 4,000xp per evolution for a whole hour. Stock up on pokemon to evolve beforehand so that you can squeeze every drop of value out of this hour as possible. Don't bother with evolutions that lead to new dex entries during the spotlight hour, since the new entry xp won't be quadrupled. Time spent on the animation of a pokemon being added to your dex is better spent evolving something else. With 2 evolutions per minute, you'll earn 480,000xp over the course of the hour. If you can manage 3/min, then you'll get a whopping 720,000xp.
3) Friends
As of a few days ago, it's too late to get to ultra or best friend with anybody who isn't already on your friends list with some degree of progress already made. It is not, however, too late to earn a massive amount of xp from friends. There are various sites, discord groups, and subreddits with people looking to exchange friend codes, utilize those to expand your friends list. Getting a friend to good friend status only takes one interaction and is worth 3,000xp (6,000xp with a lucky egg), and getting to great friend takes 7 days and is worth an additional 10,000 (20,000 with an egg). You're going to be limited to sending 100 gifts per day, but that's a LOT of potential for xp. Also keep in mind that just sending a gift is worth 200xp by itself. If you add 100 new friends, and send them all gifts every day for 7 days (assuming they open those gifts), you'll earn 1,440,000xp without even using a lucky egg. After getting them all to great friend, it's your choice if you want to keep them around, or delete them and add a new batch of 100 and try to get them to great friend as well.
4) Raids
Your daily free raid pass is valuable, don't waste it. The best use for it is hosting a legendary raid for remote players. Just like exchanging friend codes, there are sites, discord groups, and subreddits where people go to join/host remote raids. Hosting a raid means you'll be locating a gym with the raid you want to host, friending 5 other people, joining the raid, and then inviting them to join you via remote raid passes. A legendary raid awards you with 10,000xp for completing it. Even better, doing a raid with friends increases your friendship level, so those 5 random people you invited will all immediately reach good friend status, giving you 3,000xp each. That, plus the 10k you got from the raid itself, adds up to a potential 25,000xp per raid (not to mention giving you an encounter with the raid boss). Now just because you get one raid pass each day, that doesn't mean you necessarily have to do a raid every day. You can leave your pass in your bag, then the next day you can use the pass you have, get your new pass for the day, and then immediately use that pass as well. This strategy is particularly effective if you find a place with multiple gyms with legendary raids active, since you might be able to activate a lucky egg and then host 2 back-to-back raids before it expires. If you pull that off, that's 100,000xp and 2 legendary encounters. The easiest way to make that happen is to play during the weekly raid hour, which takes place from 6pm to 7pm local time on Wednesdays.
Also consider that with raids, the majority of the xp you'll earn from hosting comes from the friendship bonuses of the 5 people you invite, not from the raid itself. While hosting a lower tier raid will earn you less xp, you'll still get the full 15k from friends no matter what tier raid you do. Even a lowly tier 1 raid will give you 3,500xp base, + 15k from friends for a total of 18,500xp. Less than the 25,000 you'd get from a legendary/mega raid, but that's still good xp. Don't let perfection be the enemy of progress. If your choices are a low-tier raid or no raid at all, take the xp you can get.
5) Throws
Curveballs have a steep learning curve, especially if you've gotten used to always using regular throws, but if you can get to the point where you reliably throw them, then you earn an extra 40xp per catch. That doesn't sound like much, but over the course of thousands of catches, it adds up. That said, don't waste time with curveballs if they're causing you to miss throws you otherwise could've hit and you don't feel like you could get the hang of them relatively quickly.
The other type of throw that you should be thinking about is an excellent. Excellent throws recently got increased to 10x what they previously were worth. Each one gets you 1,000xp now, doubled to 2,000xp thanks to the event. That's MASSIVE amounts of xp to be earned from a single catch. Now, not every pokemon is equal when it comes to landing an excellent. Some are pretty easy, while others are nearly impossible (like Zubat. If you claim you can consistently land excellent throws on Zubat, you're a liar!). Learn which ones you have an easier time landing an excellent on, and which ones you should just stick to great throws with. Keep in mind, it's always a gamble to go for an excellent, since you're risking the 200xp you could've got for a great throw in exchange for the chance to instead get 2,000xp. If you can get to the point where that gamble pays off more than 10% of the time, then it's worth it, otherwise just go for the great throw.
6) Daily Coins
You need to try your absolute best to get your 50 coins every single day. Find gyms and get yourself in there. You get 1 coin for every 10 minutes spent defending a gym, so you need a total of just over 8 hours of defense per day to get the 50 coin max. That time doesn't need to be consecutive, nor does it need to be earned by a single pokemon. The best strategy I've found is to grab a spot in a gym in the evening/night when people are less likely to be playing. A great way to earn the full 50 is to get 2 defenders into gyms at 8pm, then if they can hang in there until at least a little after midnight, they'll get you your 50 coins for the day before you even wake up. Another benefit of putting 2 pokemon into gyms overnight is that if one gets knocked out too early, then the other one acts as an insurance policy. It's also best to try to put your pokemon into gyms that aren't nearby each other, since if someone flips one gym and another one is right next to it, that person is likely to attack that gym as well. Every 500 coins you get is 8 more lucky eggs. Be careful of gyms that might be too remote though, as you only earn the coins after the pokemon is knocked out. If you've got a defender sitting in a gym for a week, you'll still only get 50 coins when it gets knocked out, and those 50 will count towards the daily limit for the day it was defeated, not the day it was put into the gym.
7) Lucky Eggs
The value of a lucky egg is directly tied to what you do while it's active. Don't waste an egg if you aren't going to be earning a lot of xp in the next 30 minutes. But also don't confuse "earning a lot of xp" with "doing a lot of things". For example, let's say you activate a lucky egg, and over the next 30 minutes, you catch 50 pokemon, all with great throws and all on the first try. Each of your 50 catches was worth 500xp, so in total, the 50 of them are worth 25,000xp. Using a lucky egg there would double that to 50,000, meaning the egg provided you with an additional 25,000xp. By comparison, if you activated a lucky egg just before reaching best friend status with one of your friends, you'd double the 100,000xp that gives you, meaning that even if you immediately closed the game and wasted the remaining 29 minutes and change left on your egg, that egg would still be worth 4x as much as the previous example. Not every egg can be that valuable, but just think carefully about the raw amount of xp you'll be earning when you decide when and where to use your eggs. Decide how many eggs you have/can afford, and what's the minimum value you're comfortable getting out of them.
Generally speaking, I'd say the most valuable times to use a lucky egg (in descending order) are:
High-TieMass Friendship Increases > Evolution Sprees > Raids > Captures*
* If you feel confident with your excellent throws, captures are actually one of the best uses of a lucky egg. Each excellent throw is worth over 4,000xp with a lucky egg active, meaning 25 of them will earn you over 100,000xp.
Another useful strategy for getting the most out of your lucky eggs is to not log into the game after midnight (the daily reset) until you're ready to grind for that day. This avoids wasting the xp you'd get from using a lucky egg for your first catch/spin bonuses, as well as xp earned from friendship increases you get due to other people opening your gifts. When you're ready to play, open the game then immediately go to your friends list and open any gifts that will lead to friendship level ups. Then, close your friends list and immediately open your bag. Activate your lucky egg, and optionally, an incense as well. Then once you've done that, you can get your first catch/spin bonuses, and start grinding as your friendship xp comes trickling in, all with your lucky egg doubling them. This strategy can lead to you starting the day off with an influx of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of xp, all in a matter of a few minutes.
8) Devices
If you have a go plus, pokeball plus, gotcha, etc... make sure to use it effectively. That means if you're evolving, raiding, sending/receiving gifts, etc... you should have it catching and spinning stops in the background. If you're manually catching, have it spin stops for you in the meantime. This is especially true for when you have a lucky egg active, since by completing two xp-earning tasks at once, you're getting even more value out of the egg.
9) Feeding Gym Defenders
Another source of xp that's often overlooked is the xp you get when feeding a berry to a pokemon defending an allied gym. The xp rebalance made it so that every single berry you feed to a gym defender gives you 50xp. You can feed each pokemon up to 10 berries before it becomes full. If a gym is maxed out with 6 defenders and you've got enough berries to feed all of them, that's 3,000xp. A drop in the bucket compared to other methods, but if you're like me and often find yourself needing to make space in your bag, berries are often the first thing you get rid of to make room. Better to turn each berry into 50xp than to just throw it away. Tossing 100 berries is flushing 5,000xp down the drain. Also keep in mind that if you've got a pokemon defending a gym, you can use it to inspect the gym remotely, which allows you to feed the defenders regardless of how far away you happen to be. That means you can use your berries to feed defenders while you're at home, so you can use all the time you spend out and about focusing on the more rewarding sources of xp.
10) Making the Most of Purchases
If you choose to spend money on the game, you should at least make your dollar go as far as it can. Be honest with yourself about how much money you think you're going to end up spending, and then rather than buying a small amount of coins here and there, buy them all at once to maximize the bulk purchase bonus. Be on the lookout for any discounts or promos on Google Play or Apple gift cards that may be out there (they're rare, but they do happen). Also, if you're on Android, make sure to sign up for Google Play Points (not an advertisement). You earn play points every time you make a purchase on the play store, as well as from various offers such as installing featured apps (for those, you can click install and then immediately cancel the download. You were given the points the moment you clicked install.) Those points can be redeemed for $3 coupons for pokemon go. You can buy as many coupons as you like, but you can only have 1 at a time. Every coupon you get allows you to grab the 550 pokecoin package (which normally costs $5) for $2.
11) Streaks
You get a first catch of the day bonus, as well as a first pokestop spin of the day bonus. The first catch of the day bonus is 1,500xp, and the first pokestop of the day bonus is 500xp. When you earn each of these, you'll see a little progress bar with 7 circles pop up, and one of them will fill in. Each additional day in a row that you get your first catch/spin bonus, you'll get another circle until the bar is full (it's a separate bar for spins and catches, each is tracked independently). When you complete the full bar, you'll earn a streak bonus, which for catches is 6,000xp, and for spins is 2,500xp. With this in mind, make sure that if you're going to use a lucky egg on any given day, that you try to get your first catch and spin bonuses while the egg is active, especially if you're going to be getting the 7 day streak bonus. Beginning your day with your first catch giving you up to an extra 12,000xp and your first spin giving you up to 5,000xp is a great way to start off a session.
12) Incense, Lures, & The Mystery Box
If you're in an area with few (or no) spawns, incense is your best friend. Thanks to the play-at-home bonuses, incense currently lasts for one hour (3 hours during community day, and December will have 2 community days!). During that period, pokemon will spawn around you at a relatively steady pace for the entire duration. This is in addition to any normal spawns that happen in your area. You can use incense to increase spawns if you find yourself catching all the pokemon in an area faster than they can spawn, or even to spawn pokemon in places where there otherwise wouldn't be any (such as at home, unless you're one of the lucky ones with spawns at your house). Incense follows you as you move, so you can safely use it even if you're on the go, but it's also helpful if you're playing while stationary, since catching at even a casual rate will outpace natural spawns.
Lures are similar to incense, but worse in almost every way. Unlike incense, a lure can't be activated just anywhere. It has to be applied to a pokestop, and once activated, it remains attached to that pokestop for its entire duration. If you leave the area, you leave your lure behind. Lures also aren't being modified by the stay-at-home bonuses, so their duration is only 30 minutes. Now, all of this sounds terrible, but I said that lures are worse in almost every way. They do have two major advantages over incense. The first is that if you're in a spot where you can reach multiple pokestops, you can put a lure on each of them and greatly increase the rate of pokemon spawns in the area where they overlap. The second advantage of lures is the fact that lures applied to a pokestop benefit every trainer that visits that pokestop. If you place a lure on a pokestop, anybody else in the vicinity of that pokestop will see it, and will benefit from the extra spawns. Likewise, if another player places a lure, you can catch the pokemon it spawns. This means that groups of players working together to take turns placing a lure can exponentially increase the value that they all get out of their lures. Unfortunately, this benefit still doesn't make lures as economically viable as incense. An 8-pack of lures costs just shy of 3x as much as an 8-pack of incense. That, combined with the fact that a lure lasts only half as long as incense, means that to get more benefit per coin out of buying lures vs incense, you'd need to get in the same place as at least 5 other trainers and take turns placing lures, and... *cough, cough* pandemic... remember? That said, if you've got any lures laying around, there's no reason not to use them. And if you do use one, try to be a cool dude and place it somewhere where someone else might also get some use out of it.
Also, for anybody who doesn't know, the special lures (mossy, magnetic, and glacial) function exactly the same as a regular lure, but with 2 notable differences. The first difference is that they are used for some special evolutions, such as evolving an eevee into a glaceon with a glacial lure. The second is that the pokemon they spawn are loosely themed around the type of lure you used. Mossy lures will spawn a lot of grass, bug, and poison types, for example.
The mystery box is a special item you get the first time you transfer a pokemon out of pokemon go, and into either Let's Go Eevee, Let's Go Pikachu, or Pokemon Home. It doesn't matter which one you use, and you can transfer to as many of those games as you like. When opened, the mystery box functions exactly like incense, with one major difference; the pokemon spawned by the mystery box will all be Meltan. There are 2 major benefits to this. The first, and more fundamental one, is that this is the only way you can get Meltan, and its evolution, Melmetal, is a very powerful pokemon. The second benefit, the much more important one for when you're grinding, is that if all the pokemon spawned for the duration are the same, then all your throws can be the same. You don't have to worry about remembering how far or hard to throw for this pokemon versus that one, and can instead focus on getting into a rhythm and landing consistent (hopefully excellent) throws. Once you find the sweet spot for an excellent, you can just keep repeating that same throw over and over again for the whole hour. Unlike incense, when the mystery box ends, it is not removed from your inventory. Instead, selecting it will show you a countdown timer (3 days, starting when you open it). Once that timer reaches 0, you can transfer another pokemon (to let's go or home), and then open the box again. Also if you were wondering, no you can't stack the mystery box with incense at the same time. If you activate one, you'll have to wait for it to finish before you can use the other.
PSA for anyone opening a Mystery Box: Meltan is weather boosted by snow, so if you're going to open the mystery box, and you see snow in your local weather forecast, consider trying to time it with that.
Conclusion:
If anybody else has any useful tips or tricks to share, feel free. I'm constantly updating this post and adding info to it. I hope this helps anybody looking to get that legacy title and provides encouragement to those who are doubting if it's possible.
submitted by Bniz23 to pokemongo [link] [comments]

gambling anime meaning video

Kakegurui OP Full「Deal With The Devil」Tia - YouTube Kakegurui - Baka - YouTube Mother's Basement - YouTube Deal with the Devil - Tia / Kakegurui ( 賭ケグルイ) OP 【Lyrics】 Kakegurui Opening (60fps) - YouTube Kakegurui Trailer [HD] Netflix - YouTube Best BAKA compilation in anime - YouTube Why Kakegurui is a Terrible Gambling Anime - YouTube Kakegurui: Full opening with lyrics - YouTube

Complete list of bl anime, and watch online. BL (short for Boys' Love) is a genre that depicts homosexual relationships between men, written by women, for women. BL is the predominant term in Japan. In the West, the term Shounen-ai categorizes romantic stories that focus on emotional aspects of relationships, while Yaoi categorizes more of the sexual aspects such as Smut or explicit content. Complete list of ecchi anime, and watch online. Constant panty shots, bouncing breasts and dubious camera angles are hallmarks of an Ecchi title. These titles are usually sexualized and designed to titillate, depicting perverted themes and focusing heavily on the female body. Nosebleeds, suspicious hand positions, faceplanting into bosoms, expressive and exaggerated body parts and other tropes ... The Gambling King (博奕王キング, Bakuchiō Kingu?) is a self proclaimed master of chance games. In reality he can only defeat young children and those with the intellect of an Elementary schooler (mostly through finding and using his opponent's tell). Ranma and Ukyo first met the Gambling King when they were children at a local fair. They decided to put a stop to his constant winning ... Anime that depicts gambling is never about games only. This motif serves as an allegory of life (and even afterlife), supportive elements, and cultural context. For instance, the native Japanese gambling game Mahjong has special meaning not obvious for the Western audience. gambling definition: 1. the activity of betting money, for example in a game or on a horse race: 2. the activity of…. Learn more. Kirari Momobami (桃喰 綺羅莉Momobami Kirari), is a major antagonist from Kakegurui. She is the 105th Student Council President at Hyakkaou Private Academy and the one responsible for the current hierarchy at the academy whose family is aligned with the family of Yumeko Jabami. 1 Appearance 2 Personality 3 Profile 3.1 Kakegurui - Compulsive Gambler 3.2 Kakegurui XX 3.3 Kakegurui Twin 3.4 ... While gambling is often found as a common topic or at least a motif in anime, it’s mostly a cultural thing rather than the anime purposefully focusing on gambling. Mahjong has been an important part of the post-war reality in Japan and many people, in their desperation and destitution, turned to the illegal gambling parlors in a desperate attempt to improve their fortunes. According to Aniplex, a 10min short anime of Gintama "Shiroyasha Koutan" will be released on September 30th. It was shown at Jump Super Anime Tour 2008 and had never been released as a DVD. It's a trailer of an imaginary Gintama movie. Gintama OVA shown at Jump Anime Tour '05 is also included in the DVD.

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Kakegurui OP Full「Deal With The Devil」Tia - YouTube

Thank's for listening!...If you enjoyed watching this video then hit that Like button and if you really loved it Subscribe to the channel! =)IMAGE: http://st... HiThis video is unoffical, my made, and I worked with this lyrics:https://m.letras.com/tia/deal-with-the-devil/ And I know, how the english lyrics our meal a... We sapphics just keep on winning!Song: Tia - Deal With The Devil -----SUBSCRIBE (List of info below)-----* SUBSCRIBE if you enjoy quizzes, anime compilations, anime funny moments and music;* If scene showed more ... *Anime: Kakegurui - Compulsive Gambler*Song: Poker Face*Artist: Lady Gaga*Episodes used: PV trailer, Opening & Ep.1Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of ... Thanks for watchingPlease check out other songs with anisonic. → https://www.anisonic.com【Lyrics】Appu daun wa yo no tsuneKuzu hiitatte doujinaiKanjin nano st... Live. Bet your life on it.There is one absolute rule in gambling -- at the end of the day, there is a winner and a loser. The winner gains riches and prestig... Geoff Thew, makes a living analyzing anime and other pop culture from the comfort of his mother's basement. Well, okay, actually he lives in a nice apartment... Anime - Kakegurui Episode 04 【English Sub】 I love this scene so much, and since I've downloaded the whole episode to escape slow loading, why... It's the most popular anime of Summer 2017, but next to incredible gambling anime like Kaiji... Kakegurui kinda sucks!Watch Kaiji and other anime free for 14...

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