Shopzilla - Ikea duvet covers Bedding Sets

Ikea white Malm nightstand in excellent condition. Queen size split box springs in great condition. Only 2 year old. Easy to move. Metal frame in great condition. Queen size Sealy firm mattress has some stains on it but otherwise in good condition [...]
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To preface, I've read a bunch of posts here about furniture and moves, have read a significant portion of "It's Your Move," and perused a few blogs. I understand what I can and can't bring--but I'd love some advice on what I should or shouldn't bring and some help with random inquiries. I'm sure I've missed things that have been said before, and maybe some of these questions are dumb--I've never lived abroad or in furnished housing before!
FURNITURE: I'm planning to sell nearly all my furniture, as it is either brand new or pricey vintage pieces that probably wouldn't survive constant moves, and/or rare enough that I'd feel guilty to see damaged or termite infested. Most posts online suggest that the post housing is typically over-furnished, and I'm operating on the idea of "less stuff=less stuff to worry about." Please LMK if you think there's some furniture item I should really consider keeping/bringing though!
BED: I have a full-size bed. I really like my bed, I really like my mattress, and I really like all my bedding, most of which was was not cheap or isn't replaceable like-for-like. From what I understand, most beds in housing are queen or king size, and fewer and fewer posts are allowing "take-backs" for extra furniture to be put back into "the warehouse." Does anyone have experience on how easy/difficult it is to take apart the provided beds and how much space they take up?
CURTAINS: This might be a stupid question, but does the provided housing have curtains? Should I just get rid of mine, or keep them in HHE just in case?
AIRCONDITIONER: Should I sell my window air-conditioner, or would there be any posts where I'd want/need it?
UNFURNISHED POSTS: How do people handle unfurnished posts if you don't own much/any furniture? I know that furnished posts make up the vast majority of housing, but if you end up with an unfurnished apartment/house, how does that work? Is it typically in locations where IKEA/affordable options are available? After your tour is over, do you just sell the furniture you've purchased?
ART: While I abandon my personal furniture aesthetic for a land of dark Drexel, I'm hoping that my walls can fulfill my sense of "home." In addition to a ton of framed art, I usually have wall art that involves a lot of holes in the walls, like elaborate displays of 1920s tin lithography noisemakers, carpentry school projects, or Persian enamel plates... is this allowed? Can I nail a bunch of things into the walls? If so, should I plan to bring supplies for patching the walls for when I leave?
TOOLS: On the subject of home repaihome improvement, I'm trying to figure out how much of that stuff I should keep. I figure I can get rid of all my interior painting supplies, 8ft ladder, and project stuff like paint stripper, electric sander, etc, but what have you considered essential? Hammer, screwdriver, drill/bit set?
DAMAGE: In your experience, how durable is post furniture and what is the line for damage vs normal wear and tear? Do people with pets/children just put slipcovers on couches/chairs and tablecloths on surfaces to protect them? I have cats who thankfully don't scratch furniture or pee on anything, but there's always the risk of an errant claw. While hopefully I never have to deal with it, how common are damage charges for furniture and does anyone have any anecdotes on how expensive they can be to deal with?
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Anything else you wish someone would have told you when you were doing your initial HHE/UAB packing?
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Thank you!

Made this account because I plan on posting updates on my experience with the bed months and years down the line. In the meantime, I wanted to post my initial impressions and see how others feel about their purchase.
This was our first experience buying a bed for ourselves. My partner and I spent a while researching beds that could accommodate our weights (290 lbs and 140 lbs) and sleep preferences. Initially, Purple wasn't even on our radar. The top considerations were TempurPedic, TheraPedic Medicoil HD, or some type of latex bed (most likely Arizona Premium).
We quickly scratched Tempur off the list as my partner didn't care for the feel of it and I was unable to find details on the densities of the foams used by Tempur. (As I understand it we were looking for memory foam with density greater than 5 lb/cu-ft, polyurethane greater than 2 lb/cu-ft, and latex greater than 28 ILD to support our heavier weight). I even contacted Tempur directly but received no response, not even a decline to comment.
While the Medicoil and latex beds seemed promising from a durability standpoint, we were unfortunately unable to test either of them since our local mattress stores carried neither.
As we tested other, available beds we were introduced to the Purple which we had pretty good first impressions with, but I was (and still am) skeptical of it considering it's a bed-in-a-box that I haven't heard much of outside of poor reviews for their original mattress. To be fair their original mattress, for those unaware, is of a different make than the Purple 2, 3, and 4. The original is a combination of their gel matrix and polyurethane foam while the latter versions utilize the gel matrix with a pocketed coil support layer. After extensive research we decided that we would be willing to pull the trigger on a Purple 3 or 4 as we didn't see too many poor reviews on those and their return policy / customer service seemed good to us.
In-store the mattress felt great--low motion transfer, low pressure on usually high-pressure spots, and a cool-to-the-touch feel. Despite the only difference between the 3 and the 4 being one extra inch of gel, the beds felt surprisingly different from each other. The 3 was firm by comparison and felt sort of like you were being "pushed upwards" from the mattress. The 4 had a more floaty sensation. My partner liked the 3 and I liked the 4. After lots of back-and-forth and testing, we settled on the 4 with the thought that it would be more supportive with the weight and more accommodating for side sleepers (which we mostly are).
This trip to the mattress store was also our first introduction to king-sized beds and adjustable bases. It was a quick and easy decision for us to upgrade from a queen to a king. The extra space is amazing. After testing some of the adjustables for a while, we were convinced one of those could help us with our sleep too (and potentially train us to become back sleepers). I didn't thoroughly research adjustables beforehand though, so time will tell if it was money well spent or if the base will become an $800 paperweight.
Fast forward to delivery, setup was mostly smooth but the mattress was a monster. I think I read somewhere that it was 140 or 200 lbs so it was not a fun chore trying to unravel that thing from its plastic. After it was set up, laying on it didn't feel exactly like the store but I think that's to be expected since it isn't broken in yet. Still, it felt very comfortable. We laid in bed for a good chunk of the day just enjoying it. My partner took a nap alone after I left and slept like a rock.
Unfortunately our sheets didn't arrive in time for the first couple nights, so we were resigned to protecting it with our mattress protector and an awkward combination of our old queen fitted sheet and a blanket. I should also mention that we don't sleep with a traditional top sheet or shared comforter. We usually have a fitted sheet below us and we each have our own comforter / blanket so we don't steal them from each other.
The mattress protector we got is (IIRC) the Malouf Sleep Tite tensile protector. I don't know much about mattress protectors but this one seems fine, if maybe a little small for the bed (it seems like the edges are creeping upward), but we'll see how it holds up.
Something that became immediately apparent to me after the first night of sleep was how different the motion transfer felt compared to the store. I woke up a lot overnight as we both kept tossing and turning. I could feel my partner's every little movement. It was aggravating. But after browsing similar issues from people online, one of the possibe causes was the kind of sheets we were using (which is something that never would have occurred to me). Apparently Purple recommends some sort of jersey-knit weave so the sheets have a bit of stretch to them and the bed can support you properly. Unfortunately I didn't know this before I ordered my sheets, so we have a set of percale 100% cottons arriving soon. Hopefully they'll be good enough for us.
Knowing this, the second night we tried ditching the queen sheet and laid down a thin quilt instead. I don't know if it made a difference motion transfer-wise because frankly we both slept like a rock. No tossing and turning to relieve pressure, no waking each other up. It was the best night of sleep I'd had in a long time. Back and side sleeping both felt comfortable and it was easy to transition between them (no sinking into the mattress). As for how cool the bed felt, it was great for a good portion of the night but in the morning I was pretty warm and had to kick off part of my blanket. I'm not quick to judge the cooling aspect yet though because we're not using our proper sheets.
I feel weird commenting on this but it's an important thing to consider when bed shopping, so here goes. First impressions of sex on the bed are great. Even though motion transfer seems to be minimal when sleeping, the bed still has bounce to it so it doesn't feel like you're fighting the bed during sex.
That's all I can really think of to say (although it feels I haven't satisfactorily said anything to be honest). So far, we're happy with this matress. My partner says they're happy we went with the 4 instead of the 3 as well. Granted, it is only the first two nights we've slept on the bed and even a stone slab probably feels fine with one night of use, so we'll have to see if it holds up to this first impression over time.
Unfortunately we haven't had an opportunity to test our adjustable base because it doesn't seem to be receiving power, so I can't comment on that.
In total we spent about $4500 on our king-size Purple 4, an adjustable base, and a mattress protector. It's a massive chunk of change for us but we're hoping it'll be worth it over the years.
EDIT 1: Here's an update after roughly a week of sleeping on the bed. We finally got our percale sheets in. They're great sheets, very soft and keep cool, but they're not the way to go if you get a Purple. The motion transfer is significantly worse as the sheets create that "drum-like" effect and are regularly tugging from beneath me.
Our first night on the new sheets was miserable. I don't think I'm overexagerrating when I say it was the worst night of sleep I've ever had. Lots of tossing and turning from both of us. Must've woken up at least 20 times. For what it's worth, if you and your partner are both lightweight I don't think you'll have a problem with motion transfer at all. Either way, I still recommend following Purple's guidance and getting a stretchy fitted sheet (something with spandex or a jersey knit sheet).
But thankfully that one bad night didn't become a trend, and the rest of the week has been mostly great in terms of sleep quality and comfort. The mattress feels very comfortable whether I'm sleeping on my side or my back. I never experienced any discomfort or the need to shift around (except when my neck was in pain due to my pillow).
We both think the mattress sleeps cool compared to our last mattress (which I believe was mostly polyurethane foam). I use just a wool blanket while my partner uses a thin comforter. It is currently winter so it's pretty cold outside but our thermostat is at roughly 65 degrees (though it feels warmer than that). We'll have to see how cool it feels when summer rolls around.
There's a great, relaxing feeling I get whenever I sit or lie down in this bed. I feel the temptation to just lie down and take a nap, and I'm not one for taking naps at all.
Unfortunately our adjustable base is still busted and I don't expect it to be fixed for a while (the warranty company is taking their sweet time getting back to me).
While Purple doesn't really have recommendations on rotating the mattress (they say you can if you want), we're going to rotate it regularly out of an abundance of precaution: once a week for the first three months, then once every three months after.
Like I said though, the first week is still basically first impressions. I read a post from another user here who was heavy and wore out the same mattress (the 4) within 10 months. I plan on posting updates months and years down the road (hopefully, if I remember). But for now, we're very happy with our purchase.
EDIT 2: Now that it's been 21 or so days (minimum time before I can elect to return the bed), I thought I'd post another update and also address some things I forgot to mention in my original post.
First, what I forgot to mention. The Purple does have a distinct smell to it when it first arrives. It was strong at first but most of it dissipated within a day of airing out the bedroom. The smell has lingered though, faintly. In my opinion it's not an unpleasant smell (I actually kind of like it) but I don't think my partner's even noticed. We may have to vent the room a bit more to see an improvement on the smell. We haven't opened windows since the first full day but we have had an air purifier running every night since and the smell remains.
Another thing I forgot to talk about was the mattress' edge support. While the Purple uses springs for the support layer and gel matrix for the comfort layer, the edges of the mattress are lined in polyurethane foam (probably about 2 or 3 inches thick from the edge if I remember right). I'm not really familiar with edge support or why it's important, but it feels solid at the moment. There's no sinking or slipping off the edge. I have concerns of it giving way eventually considering it's just foam, but maybe that concern is unwarranted since we won't be putting nearly as much weight-over-time on the edge compared to the actual mattress.
Since my last update, we've now put a new, stretchy fitted sheet on the bed (95% polyester, 5% spandex). We miss the cooling feel of the percale sheet, but this new sheet definitely allows us to feel the contours of the bed more and motion transfer is minimized, which is great for me. We've also added a headboard which was a welcome addition, as our pillows were slipping a bit between the wall and the edge of the bed. It now feels like a proper bed.
Our sleep quality has improved a lot over the course of the weeks. This last week in particular has been the best nights of sleep I can ever remember having.
On our old bed, I would (try to) sleep anywhere from 8 to 10 hours a night and still feel lethargic and sleepy in the morning and throughout the day. I thought it was because I was waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, but I've been having the same sleep interruptions with the new bed and not experiencing the same lethargy. In fact, we have a sun lamp set as a sort of silent alarm at 7:30. With the old mattress I would stay in bed until the lamp forced me up, but now I've actually been waking up naturally, about an hour or so before the lamp goes off. I've been getting less hours of sleep (roughly 6 to 8) and feel so much more refreshed than I was getting with 8 to 10 on the old mattress. I nearly forgot it was possible to wake up feeling so rested and ready for the day.
My partner also feels great and well-rested with the new mattress. On the old one, they tended to toss and turn constantly throughout the night. Now, they very rarely feel the need to shift positions (which has improved my sleep quality as well).
I should note though that I don't think the old mattress was solely to blame. We also had an Ikea bed frame (one with the under-bed storage drawers) that the mattress sat on. I never considered that the bed frame's slats could be an issue until we disassembled it and slept solely on the old mattress, flat on the ground, while we waited for the Purple to arrive. Even those nights felt like an improvement in sleep.
Regardless, we're very happy with our purchase three weeks in. Just remember to take my thoughts with a grain of salt because durability is important in a mattress too.
I'll probably stay silent on this account for a while and report back either when there's something new to report or enough time passes and we're still satisfied. Alternatively, if someone requests an update I'll try posting then too. Thanks for reading, and I hope this helps somewhat.

My Story (names and locations changed)
My name is hey_its_rey, I am 26 years old, and I am a survivor of an abusive relationship.
I met Philip sometime in September of 2016. We had matched on Tinder and after a few days of talking, I agreed to meet him for a date. Honestly, I was taken with him immediately. He was the definition of tall, dark, and handsome with a quick wit and infectious smile. He had just moved to my metropolitan area from his home country and only had a suitcase and a car that he was renting from the company that he moved to the States for. The beginning of our relationship was a whirlwind. When I was with him, I felt like I was the most important person in the world. He would open up to me about his past as a foreigner growing up in the poor area of Florida. Somehow, he could make someone almost pity him while commanding respect at the same time. Later I realized this was simply manipulation. I have since seen him use similar strategies on dozens of people. When I wasn’t with him, I wouldn’t hear from him for days at a time. Trying to plan dates with him was a nightmare. He would tell me that he would be free by noon, then got caught up working on something and it would be 3, then 5, then a late dinner, then tomorrow. But when I was with him, all would be forgiven. He had me in the palm of his hand.
We moved into our relationship quickly. I helped him find an apartment and I moved in by December. At first, we really didn’t have much of anything. I had given him the kitchen supplies that I had used in college, and he had a TV, mattress on the floor and fashioned a TV stand out of empty boxes. I helped him buy furniture and we built a life together. To move in with him, I had moved far away from my bartending job, so his friend offered me a bartending job in his restaurant. When Philip left his first job in Ohio, he started working for his friend as well. I was quickly promoted to bar manager and made so much money managing on top of bar tips. I was so happy. I got to live and work with the love of my life while being surrounded by amazing people at work.
The first time Philip took things too far was on our first Valentine’s Day together in February of 2017. We both took the day off of work so that we could have a nice lunch together and go to IKEA to finally buy a kitchen table and other furniture. I don’t remember exactly what was wrong or what he said to me in the car, I just remember thinking that no man had ever yelled at me like that before and I started crying. When he was done yelling at me, he pulled the car over, held me, and cried too. He said that he should have never said those things to me and that he never wanted to make me cry again. We went on to have a great rest of the day.
After that time, things started adding up slowly. They always say that things start out slowly. Of course they do. If Philip had pinned me to the wall by my neck during our first fight, of course I would have left him. The fights slowly got worse and the insults slowly got more personal. I don’t remember exactly when fights became physical. Philip is a big man. At first, he would use his size to stand tall over me and intimidate me. This slowly turned into grabbing, shoving, or throwing objects around the apartment.
Don’t get me wrong, still 95% of my time with Philip felt like a fairy tale. He would show me off to his friends, surprise me with gifts, and put me up on a pedestal. He made sure that he always told me all the wonderful things he would do for me and I ate it up. I felt so lucky to be with him.
I remember the first time Philip met my friend Theresa. They were both hangry at the time (and neither are good at handling hangriness) so it just did not go well. Theresa immediately distrusted him. When I got home with Philip that night, he made sure to tell me that he did NOT like my friend Theresa while insulting both her and our friendship. Philip was a physically affectionate person and wasn’t afraid of touching other people, which is something that I attributed to his different culture. When he met my friend Jen, I warned him that she had an uncomfortable past with men and was intimidated by being touched. He took the exact opposite of my advice and was very physical with her. When I questioned him about it, he said that he enjoyed messing with her. I brushed it off, telling myself that I apparently didn’t make my warning clear or serious enough. I’m sorry Jen.
Philip also had a hatred for certain members of my family. For around 2 years, I hardly had a relationship with my older brother due to Philip’s hatred for him. The worst was how he acted towards my mother’s side of the family that only gets together twice a year as we are spread out across the Midwest and as far out as British Columbia. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday since I get to see these people. The first time Philip met them, he felt that a cousin of mine disrespected him and that my favorite uncle gave him a funny look. He was awful to me the whole way home, calling my family pigs, pieces of shit, and racist (a portion of my family is from his country too, so he was clearly way off track). Then next Thanksgiving when I was getting ready, he was policing me for what I was wearing, what jewelry I was putting on, how my hair looked and the food that I was bringing. He said I had to look perfect because he “didn’t want those fat fuckers judging us or making any comments.” He refused to get ready himself until he made us almost two hours late for dinner. He made me cry on the way up, so he made us stop so I could fix my makeup. Throughout the whole dinner, he was tense while talking to my family and was texting me threats under the table until I agreed to leave early. The drive back home was awful. He promised me that we wouldn’t go to Thanksgiving with my family next year or he would make a scene, and that if I went without him, I wouldn’t be able to trust him while I was out of town. I recognized that this was a common tactic for abusers; to distance their victims from family and support groups. But while Philip was pulling me further away from certain members of my family, he was also pushing me to grow my relationship with my father. His father had died of cancer a few years before I met him, so I think he almost envied me for having mine around still.
In June of 2017, Philip took me to Florida to spend time with his family. We had an incredible time on the beach and in the clubs of Calle Ocho. He made me feel like I deserved the world. And just nine months after we met, he proposed to me. I said yes.
There are countless little stories of cruelty that I could tell. Philip started becoming unpredictable to me. One night in our first apartment, he had been resting after work and I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. When I woke him up to eat, he decided that what I made was sub-par, and threw his plate in the kitchen. “You woke me up for this? This is as good as I get? You really are useless.” I had worked so hard on that meal. Lots of arguments started around meal time. If I accidentally said something he didn’t like, he would suddenly lose his appetite, it was my fault, and how dare I not let him eat in peace. “When will you learn to shut the fuck up for once in your life?” Our relationship took a definite turn for the worse in the spring of 2018. My grandma passed away and since she lived in a country house, Philip and I moved in while the house was being cleaned out. When a house in the country sits empty for too long, people take notice and the house is at risk for break-ins. Around that same time, Philip’s mom and step-dad decided to move to Ohio to be closer to him. Things fell through with his step-dad’s job and they lost the house loan, so they moved in with us for about two months. Living with Philip’s family on my family’s property caused tensions to soar. I think this was the first time he shoved me so hard that I fell to the ground. One day when I was at the house by myself, I sat on the front porch and just cried. When I looked up, I saw a full rainbow stretching from one side of the property to the other. I felt like my grandparents were looking down on me and offering me comfort. I apologized to both of my grandparents, for letting myself get into this situation. I could feel their disappointment and pity. This was the first time I wanted out.
In the fall of 2018 Philip and I moved out of my grandparent’s house, I went back to school to get my Master’s of Nursing degree, and we got married. We had originally wanted to get married after I graduated from school, but getting married then would allow him to apply for citizenship before he would need to renew his green card next. We semi-eloped with friends and my family present at a courthouse. This may seem shallow of me, but I think that part of the reason that I stayed with him for so long was pride. When we eloped, there were some rumors going around my class at nursing school that it was a green card marriage. It was not. I married Philip because I loved him, and months later I stayed through abuse that I knew I should have left because I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of thinking they were right.
I quit my bartending job to focus on school. During this time, I became financially dependent on Philip. He paid the bills for our townhouse and gave me a $300 credit-limited card to buy our groceries every two weeks. I was falling deeper under his control. He had me financially, restricted me from seeing friends and family that he didn’t like, and I was his wife by law. During this same time, his mom was diagnosed with very aggressive cancer. Our fights got worse. I kept telling myself that things would get better when I graduated, or when we were financially stable, or when his mom wasn’t sick any more, etc. The list of excuses kept growing and things kept getting worse. His verbal attacks got more aggressive. He would say things to me like, “What are you gonna do? Just cry like a little bitch? That’s what you’re best at.” I was “best at” a lot of things, from walking away from him, to crying, to making his life miserable. “You are a worthless piece of shit.” “I should have never married a white bitch.” “Why do you always want to make me so miserable?” “Just leave, I don’t want you here anymore.” “Are you happy now?” The next day he would hold me in his arms and call me his queen.
The physical abuse started escalating during this time as well. Once, he was sick and coughed directly onto my face when we were sleeping. I asked him to turn the other way so he didn’t cough on me, and he got so mad he went downstairs to the couch. One of the agreements we had was that no fight would be bad enough that we wouldn’t sleep together. After a while, I felt bad so I brought him some cough medicine and a Gatorade and asked him to come back to bed. He threw the medicine in my face, and when I turned away, he threw the full bottle of red Gatorade at my back. It left a bruise and Gatorade covered half of the townhouse. Somehow, it got all the way upstairs. When I got in the shower, the water came out of my hair red. I just laid in the shower and cried.
Once, he grabbed me so hard that I had purple-blue bruises on my arms for two weeks. I tried to hide them but a few people saw, and I couldn’t seem to find a good enough cover story for how I got them. I told some classmates that it happened consensually (wink*). Theresa knew that I was lying. But it didn’t matter. She and a few other people approached me with their concerns. I lied each time. Me? Being abused? No, I would never stand for that. Hell, I’m in nursing school, I’m learning how to screen patients for abuse, how to talk to abuse victims, and how to help them plan an escape from their abusers. No, I would never let that happen to me.
The first time Philip choked me, I was terrified. He had been shoving, grabbing, and punching me. I tried to run out the front door to my car. He grabbed me by the neck and held me against the inside of the front door. He called me selfish. He told me that if I ran outside and someone saw what he was doing to me, they would call the police and he would be deported. Is that what I wanted? Did I realize how many people were depending on him, myself included? How could I be so selfish to try and escape him? After that, I mostly curled in the fetal position to escape him while he stood over me kicking me and screaming at me.
The time I thought he might kill me… the time I thought he might kill me, I don’t even remember why we were arguing. He had me by the throat at the top of the stairs. He smashed my head into the wall so hard that he paused for a minute to look behind me… to make sure that he hadn’t put a hole in the wall with my head. I thought he might throw me down the stairs.
Now I was scared of him. I would walk on egg shells, trying not to trigger him into a fit of anger. I kept the house clean, I cooked and cleaned up after him, and tried to have sex whenever he wanted. If I didn’t give in to him, he would accuse me of cheating on him or say that I didn’t really love him and eventually push me until I gave in. If I didn’t act happy enough during it, he would push me off of him and start yelling. And the thing is, I still loved him. But it was a dependent kind of love. I didn’t want to leave him because I felt like he had become the biggest part of my personality. Sure, I went to nursing school and maintained friendships, but I lived to try and make Philip happy, which is a battle I would never win.
I had caught Philip cheating on me in February of 2019. We fought hard. But he cried and told me that he couldn’t live without me. I eventually forgave him, but I told him that if I ever caught him again, that would be it. I told him that I didn’t care if it happened the next day or 50 years down the line, I would leave him.
The last 8 months of our relationship were the worst. We fought the most, he would make things physical, and threaten to hurt me or worse. “You have no idea what I am capable of.” I started wishing that he or I would get sick to get me out of the situation. I started wishing that a car would hit me on my way to school. I looked forward to when he would be away from home on a business trip so I could be away from him. But still, I stayed. I still loved him. He would still occasionally sweep me off my feet with displays of affection. And he would always remind me that he was providing for me financially and that I was depending on him.
On October 10, 2019, I woke up to go to school. We had an exam that day. He was supposed to wake up about the same time, but his alarm was going off and he wasn’t getting up so I decided to mute his phone and let him sleep for a few extra minutes. That’s when I found messages from a girl that worked for the same company that he worked for from their Florida location (where he had just been for a “work trip”). Honestly, I felt more relieved than angry. I tried to take pictures of the messages with my phone so that I would have proof for the divorce, but he woke up and left bruises on my arm from snatching my phone away from me to delete the pictures. I went to school, I took my test, and I passed. Afterwards, I called my mom. I told her what happened. She told me that she would get the family together, bring the farm truck, and help me leave that day. When I was driving to my townhouse to meet the family, Philip called me. He asked me if I wanted to keep the townhouse or if he can keep it. He told me he never wanted to see me again. He asked me, “How are you going to tell your family? You know what? Let me actually call them right now and tell them.” That’s when I told him that they already knew. He was bluffing. He thought I would break down and beg him to stay, like I had before. When I told him that my family already knew, I felt his demeanor change. He knew that I was serious, and that I was no longer under his control.
My friends and family, the same people that Philip had spent years trying to pull me away from, became everything to me. My mom, dad and uncle helped me move out all of my clothes, all the furniture that was mine, and my cat. My aunt went to the Apple store to buy me a new phone and set up a new Apple account and phone number in case Philip had put spyware on my devices at some point. My brother, who I hadn’t had a strong relationship with in years, drove two hours home to see me for one afternoon. I wish on that day that I had the strength to tell him thank you but I hadn’t eaten and I was so exhausted. That night and the next day were the worst. I had changed everything about who I was to appease my husband, and he was gone. I was lost. I was 25, had to move back in with my parents, and failed my marriage. I felt like all the horrible things that Philip had called me. I broke down because I didn’t know how to use my mom’s coffee maker. I tried to go through some of my belongings that had been piled in the garage, but accidentally hit the panic button on the home security system and summoned the police. I felt useless.
I wish I could give a million thanks to my friends and family. My family brought me back in immediately and made sure I was safe. I didn’t tell them what Philip had put me through besides the cheating, but they supported me completely. My mom suggested that I see a therapist. I looked into support from Women Helping Women and a few other organizations, but for a long time I still didn’t understand the full scope of what I had been through. Battered women support groups? That was for women whose partners put them in the hospital, that wasn’t me. The first time I cried for myself rather than for Philip was when my friend Jen reminded me of a situation she had witnessed. The three of us had gone into town to hangout, and I had been driving Philip’s car. I didn’t quite know the boundaries of his car, so I scraped the tire on the curb when I was trying to parallel park. He screamed at me and called me useless in front of her. Later I asked him not to yell at me in front of my friends and he told me, “I don’t give a fuck, I’ll tell you whatever I want.” I had forgotten about this moment until Jen told me about it because it was so minor compared to the things that I do remember. My friends all called me daily to check on me. Some got together to send me flowers with a note reading, “your friends will always stand behind you.” I will cherish that note forever. Jen made me a playlist on Spotify that became my mantra for the next few months. They got me through this.
I wish that I could say that I was strong enough to stay away from Philip after October 10th. He was begging me to come back to him, saying that we could start all over and that he wouldn’t be able to go on without me. Two days after I left, I was getting gas when a man started cat calling me at the gas station. I started crying and hyperventilating. I called Philip and told him that I knew if he was there, he would have told the guy off and made sure I was safe. He made me feel protected. He told me to calm down and go to our home, and that he would come home to hold me. I almost gave in and went back that night.
I did see him again. A few times I was weak and went back to my home with him. I knew that I wouldn’t stay, but I needed some of his comfort, even though he was the one I needed comforted against. During this time we fought once, and he yelled at me to “get the fuck out of his house” while shoving me out the front door. That night he called me to apologize and beg me to come back.
A few weeks before I left Philip, I had pulled some money from my savings because he and I were supposed to go to his home country over Christmas (thank God I hadn’t bought tickets yet). I blew through this $6,000 quickly trying to make myself feel better by going out with friends, buying things, and going on a trip to New Orleans with a friend from nursing school. The week after I got back from my trip, I graduated with my Master’s of Nursing. I did it. Even with all that I had been through, I made it through the program and I had accepted an RN position working at my dream job. Two days after my graduation ceremony, my divorce was finalized in court. I was so scared to see him. But he was the one that was crying in the end.
After our day in court, he tried to force himself into my life once again. He tried to manipulate me again and I gave in for a while, although I knew that I would never be his again. His attention still felt good. This ended when the girl from Florida messaged me to tell me that he had done some of the same things to her, and that she caught him cheating twice. During this time when he was begging me to come back to him, he had still been maintaining a relationship with her. He became furious that we were talking, and I finally, FINALLY had the strength to banish him from my life forever.

So there I was, on a short no-buy so I could focus on enjoying my stash, and planning on ordering from Alkemia at some point in the future because I'd really tried lots of BPAL already.
And then I was idly browsing the BPAL forum while my parents were visiting, and someone was selling a decant of Woman Practicing Calligraphy On Her Lover's Erect Member. (For those who don't know, BPAL releases a collection every spring named after the paintings in a scroll of Edo-era Japanese erotic art.) And I had forgotten about that little quirk of BPAL naming, so I cracked up when I saw it.
Naturally my parents wanted to know what was funny, and as my kids weren't in the room, I told them. My dad was thoroughly amused and went through the current offerings, but decided that Practicing Calligraphy was the best one and was sad that it was discontinued. But then I found someone was selling a bottle in the forums, and next thing I knew Dad was handing me a $50 bill to cover the bottle and shipping from the UK and anything else I wanted. And the seller had a pile of $1 imps, so what else was I supposed to do?
Woman Practicing Calligraphy On Her Lover's Erect Member
roses, ink, white moss
Wet, this is all powdery rose. It's pretty, but not really my style. After half an hour, it fades into a subtle mossy scent that makes me think of happy snakes curled up on their favorite rocks. There's a little bit of rose, and probably some ink (not sure what ink smells like) but mostly mossy.
This was mostly roses on my mom, which she didn't like, but of course my parents kept the bottle for the art. I poured off a decant for myself. I doubt that I would full-size this if I were spending my own money.
(My mom doesn't actually wear perfume, by the way. My dad just likes buying things and doesn't always consider what he'll do with the things when they show up.)
The Caterpillar
Heavy incense notes waft lazily through a mix of carnation, jasmine, bergamot, and neroli over a lush bed of dark mosses, iris blossom, deep patchouli and indolent vetiver.
On me this was heavily indolic, and by "heavily indolic" I mean "a dog pooped in a magic forest." There may have been some moss and incense in the background, but I just got heavy jasmine.
My twins wanted to try this, mostly because of the name, and they trundled off excitedly shouting, "It smells just like caterpillars!" Whether that is a good thing or not is left for the reader to decide. It did smell more mossy on them.
Old Scratch
lavender fougere with tonka, amber, rosewood and a whiff of diabolical patchoul
On my husband, this smelled clean and citrus. It's not really a date night scent, but it's quietly sexy - less Tony Stark and more Agent Coulson: trustworthy, dependable, quietly charismatic, more of a rebel than you'd think.
We tried this on my brother, as well. It turns out my brother amps florals. It still smelled clean on him, but it was all floral and no citrus and he didn't like it.
Stimulating Sassafras Strengthener
Sassafras, vanilla extract, oak leaf, CO2 butter extract and onycha
Initially this smells like fizzy root beer, though there's a bitter scent if I put my wrist right up to my face. As it dries, it gets more complex, with the vanilla rounding it out and the herbal complexity of the sassafras coming out. My husband says it smells just like the old-fashioned root beer stick candy he used to get on family trips in central Pennsylvania.
I expected my kids to like this, but they were surprisingly neutral on it. I think it's a fun summer scent.
Iago
sinuous black musk, wet leather and vetiver
We tried this on my brother, since musk is awful on me and my husband. The musk was great on him, very smooth and dark, but the leather seemed weird and sharp.
Dee
soft English leather, rosewood and tonka with a hint of incense, parchment and soft woods
I actually loved this in the imp - the top notes are one of the calmest, creamiest lavenders I have ever come across. Sadly, that faded almost immediately.
After the first few minutes, this turned into a musky perfume-y smell with little sharp corners. I think I could smell the rosewood, but the overall scent wasn't great. Eventually the sharpness faded, and the perfume left behind was okay but boring.
I think what I have learned is that I don't like leather in perfumes, since Iago had a similar pointiness. That is a useful thing to know.
Arcana
Frankincense, rosemary, lavender, neroli, and verbena
I was actually really excited about this one, since frankincense and herbs sounds really good. It...wasn't quite there. It was mostly rosemary, with some dimension from the other notes. It's herbal and pleasant, but reminds me strongly of Vick's Vapo-Rub, though it isn't as harsh and sharp as that is.
I do like the herbal smell, and I enjoy smelling it, but I'm not sure it's what I want to smell like. Maybe I'll add some to a closet freshener or something like that.
Queen Alice
Carnation, posies, and white amber with a hint of inky treacle, sandy cider, and wooly wine.
Queen Alice is frequently recommended as a fall scent, and I could see why - on me she was all apple cider, with some subtle floral tones underneath. It was juicy and yummy, but not very interesting. Eventually I scrubbed it off because it got annoying and I wanted to wear something else.
This is a pleasant scent, but if I'm in the mood for a fall scent, I'm more likely to reach for something with a lot of spice.
Gomorrah
figs, dates, dark herbs
This was herbal Fig Newtons on me - quite figgy, and a little sweet. My husband thought it smelled like fennel, and maybe it does.
This is what a fairytale grandmother smells like. I am not a fairytale grandmother.
Wilde
A sophisticated traditional gentleman’s cologne, with just the slightest taint of patchouli’s passion, tonka bean’s decadence, the philanthropy of bergamot, moss’ cynicism, the sharp wit of lavender, and the hopeless romantic longing of jasmine and thyme.
Ick. This was soapy and musty and a little mossy but mostly ick. My mom liked the moss, though, and kept it to try on my dad. Hopefully it does better on his skin than on mine.
The Rose
This is nice! I got it for my sister (the flower-loving one, not the musk-loving one) and she and I and my mom all tried it, and we all liked it! It really smells like a fresh-cut rose, instead of a rose-scented perfume, and it's light and fresh and really lovely.
I was particularly impressed with its stability - it smelled great on all three of us, and it smelled great wet and dry and a few hours later.
Vice
deep chocolate, cherry, orange blossom
My daughter chose this one, since I felt she shouldn't be restricted by my taste.
Wet, it's a very realistic cherry chocolate, with a bit of a floral note that makes me think of IKEA. It's actually not my favorite scent, for the simple reason that I don't like cherry chocolate and it's realistic enough to start the "how do I politely decline?" train of thought.
After the first few minutes, the chocolate seems to drop out, leaving a sweet cherry-floral that's pleasant but not very interesting. Then the chocolate comes back, but as a milder milk chocolate that's supporting the scent, not in charge of it. I don't love this, but it's kind of nice.
Alice
Milk and honey with rose, carnation and bergamot
Whoa. Talk about scent memories.
Okay, so I grew up (and still am) Messianic Jewish. And every year we would go to a week-long conference, and during most of my teens there was a table in the marketplace selling scented anointing oils, which I totally loved because they were my first experience with resin-based scents and they smelled so good. I owned several, and Alice smells exactly like the spikenard oil.
(Which is rather surprising, since google reports that spikenard is normally earthy and musky, which this is not. Maybe I'm confused. Maybe the anointing oil maker was using a different oil/source/species. Maybe the maker didn't like the scent of actual spikenard and made up something that they thought would sell better.)
(Maybe they were selling diluted Alice!)
(It wasn't diluted Alice, since I don't think BPAL was around in the late nineties. Also most of that community was highly conservative and would probably not buy from BPAL.)
ANYWAY. I think I mostly get honey and carnation here. My sister thought it had rosemary, and I don't blame her - the floral bite is similar to the bite in rosemary.
I'm not sure how much I'll actually wear this. It's sort of a U-shaped scent, with the honey and the sharpness and not much going on in the middle. (This is probably a good time to mention that I also have a little bit of synesthesia.) Still, it was as a fun trip down memory lane.
Anne Bonny
Indonesian red patchouli, red sandalwood, and frankincense
This might be my new HG. I get a bit of cedar when wet, and then it smooths into a wonderful balanced warm scent, as if someone had grown up with hippies but then absorbed some hipster culture and set out to make a curated, artisanal hippie scent. I am the most elegant hippie.
I do wish it lasted longer - it seems to fade in just a couple of hours - but it smells good enough to carry with me and reapply.
Lights of Men's Lives
wax and smoke of millions of candles
Sometimes this smells like powdery honey, but mostly it smells like birthday candles - powdery wax, sweet honey and vanilla from the cake, and a trace of smoke. It's not necessarily something I'd wear, but it's rather cozy as a bedtime scent.
It does seem to have quite a powerful throw. My normal drop-or-two application fills the space quite intensely.
Sudha Segara
Sweet milk, warm ginger with a touch of golden honey and ambrosia.
Creamy sweetness and clean ginger. This is very spa-like - I'd expect to find a lotion with this scent at an expensive hotel or spa. I bet it'll be nice to have next time I'm feeling sickish.
And that is all the things and now maybe I can get to that Alkemia order!

My boyfriend and I are leaving on Saturday and we need to get rid of everything we have! We are selling and giving stuff away for free. Most places are not taking donations that are not food so if you need something or know someone that needs something please comment or private message me.
We have a dining table with 4 chairs and two stools A couch and loveseat set A coffee table Night stand Ikea dresser (one drawer is broken but can be glued together) And queen size bed with frame and box spring.

Hi all,
I'm moving, and I have outgrown IKEA. I want to get a few pieces that will last and I can move with down the road: so they shouldn't be huge or heavy. I also really care about the aesthetics and don't want it to feel like it's something you got from a hardware store (though that aesthetic can work in certain cases).
I'm specifically looking for:

1. A sturdy bed frame (no creaking)
   
2. A decent workbench desk for soldering and my hobby projects
   
3. A set of shelves to hold books and bits & bobs.
   
4. 2 metal dining chairs for a coffee nook
   

I like the look of the Floyd furniture which is designed to be taken with you from place to place: https://floydhome.com/products/the-floyd-platform-bed?color=Walnut+%2F+Black&bedSize=full-queen
Would love to hear some alternatives and suggestions! Thank you!

Dear Eliving,
I want to write to you about our experience of receiving a bed from your company yesterday.
Now we purchased this bed a few weeks ago. We spent a long time comparing sites, and decided this bed was the one. It had an elegant design, storage drawers, free shipping, online photos that would make a Byron Insta Influencer throw down her boho macrame wall hangings and call it an afternoon. Eliving, we had such high hopes! And we were going to move from a double bed to a queen bed - a momentous occasion.
At last, the bed arrives. Now Eliving, I know what you're thinking: this is like Christmas. We've got the mattress ready, we've bought brand new linen sheets. All we need to do is disassemble one bed and put the new one together. Easy. You can't stop us, we've put beds together 1000 times. We've just built an entire IKEA kitchen ourselves, and had fun doing it. Eliving, I don't want to sound smug, but we're handy on the tools. And why would we be nervous? Beds are famously simple inventions.
Now, Eliving, the old bed goes down in less than 5 minutes. It was a real bed, made of timber. From simpler times, where a carpenter had assembled some pieces of timber before calling it a bed. Four wooden pieces, and some slats. That's what a bed used to be, Eliving. Now in retrospect, this is where it all went wrong. How we wish we never committed ourselves by dismantling that trusty old bed.
Excitedly, we open one of four Eliving boxes. Oh dear. This box alone seems to contain more pieces than a lego-hoarders wet dream. And the 'engineered wood' was not at all wood, Eliving. In retrospect, I think my morning Weet-Bix had more structural integrity than this stuff. Perhaps it was my Weet-Bix, covered in some strange wood-grain inspired plastic film and sent in a nightmare to test me? Eliving, at this point, any rational person would have closed the box, tried to make a bed from actual Weet-Bix and sent it back to you at the next possible opportunity.
But alas, Eliving, we stupidly thought, perhaps thIs horrid plastic-film Weet-Bix is for an internal part? Maybe we wont really see it. It cant all look like that after all, can it? If we can only find the instructions, we'll see how it all goes together and things might seem better.
Like cops going through each new room at the scene of a mass murder, we grimly open the rest of the boxes, pulling out no fewer than 28 pieces of the plastic-covered Weet-Bix. There is cardboard and styrofoam everywhere. We look at each other, and decide this was a disaster. We should stop now while we're ahead, right Eliving? I go to check your return policy. We need to pay return shipping, plus 15% of the item fee and we would only be given a store credit. Now having received our laminated weet-bix macrame set we werent covinced that we could bear the disappointment that might come from a store credit. But here's the rub witb your return policy, it says it all has to be returned in its orginal packaging. Eliving, there is not a Tetris champion in the world who could have got all the dozens of pieces assembled back into those boxes. We had gone too far. We could either throw the whole thing off the balcony and sleep on the floor or grimly purge on.
Now, Eliving, you cheeky things, in retrospect, I'm not sure this is legal. The ACCC's consumer guarantee states that:
"Products must be of acceptable quality, that is: safe, lasting, with no faults look acceptable do all the things someone would normally expect them to do. You do not have to return products in the original packaging in order to get a refund." https://www.accc.gov.au/consumers/consumer-rights-guarantees/repair-replace-refund
Eliving, imagine my despair when I found the bag of screws. 331 separate pieces, the size of your head, in separate sacks labelled A-R. 331! In 18 different varieties! We're talking dowel, bolts, umpteen different types of screws. We've got nuts, self tappers, plastic cover plates. No carpenter should need this many fixings. But I suppose that's how you make plastic-covered Weet-Bix into a bed shape?
Now im famously calm under pressure, Eliving. But two hours into making this bed I put my weight on one of the panels that was lying on the floor and it completely crumpled in on itself. I curled up on the floor and laughed until i realised I was sobbing. Sobbing, eliving. We've renovated our bathroom and been without a toilet for two months Eliving, and I felt nothing compared to the three hours I had so far endured with your Weet-Bix bed.
My partner, terrified of this outburst of hysteria, promptly banished me from doing any more assembly. This was a man's job, he was going it alone. A few hours later, my partner had experienced chewed out screws, snapped off dowel, taken whole sections apart twice and he finally broke, Eliving. He punched what had so far been assembled of the Weet-Bix. I prayed they would break and we could just throw the stinking lot off the balcony and never look at it again. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor would surely be better. To hell with the hundreds of dollars we'd spent on it.
We now knew we couldn't return it, and we can't sell it, because nobody could dissemble and reassemble this bed without the use of a sledgehammer, Eliving. We would be blacklisted from every second hand merchant in the country for trying to give some other poor fool the plastic Weet-Bix.
Alas, Eliving, in five hours we finally built the bed and fell into it, defeated. We haven't got around to the drawers, perhaps they'll take another day or two of building, at least that of mental preparation...
Eliving, I don't know what I'm suggesting here. I've seen the same bed on several other sites, so it's clear you're just an unfortunate distributor of a Sanitarium cereal bi-product. We'd need a sledgehammer to get the bed back into all its pieces. We don't suppose you'll be forthcoming with any kind of refund. Perhaps the best course of action would be to sell the rest of the stock off as fire kindling, or perhaps just save your customers the trouble and send the rest directly to landfill.
For now, we lie on it and dream of our next bonfire.

I haven't shopped much at Ikea before, and I have a few questions about some items I need for a queen-size bed I'm buying.
What are people's opinions on the Grusnarv waterproof mattress protector? I've seen reviews of other similar items before, but this one looks kind of new. How well does it work in terms of waterproofing? I mostly want it to protect against short-duration stuff like spilled water, coffee, etc.
Also, what is the general quality/durability of Ikea 100% cotton sheet sets?

I know everyone is looking for items right now, so apologizes to add to the chaos. We are in need of the luroy bed planks to finish a queen size we bought.
For the ADILs table legs, we don't really care about color as long as we have 2 matching sets of 4 at this point. Please let us know if you can help us at all, we didn't realize when we left Ikea last time that we wouldn't be able to get these items again easily.

That is if anyone even buys vans that are already converted? Will likely by a late 2000s Ford Econoline low-roof. We’re eyeing a couple with miles below 100k. We’d do the converting ourselves and we have plans for a very simple, yet ~hipster~ aesthetic. At the end of the summer we’ll probably have to part ways with it and so we’re trying to gauge the interest level van dwellers have in buying an already converted camper van and what kind of amenities that you’d like to see in it? Also whether we should outfit it for just sporadic travel or full time living in with fridge and toilet etc. Just give me your thoughts on what you would look for and things we should be aware of!
If it were completely up to me (gotta negotiate with bro before this is set in stone) I’d do two narrow beds on either side that fold down to be one queen-ish size bed and when folded up are two bench seats. Then IKEA cabinetry with water pump and sink, a cutout to drop a Coleman stove, and another cutout and “lid” for a nice Yeti cooler and under counter drain for the melted water. Underneath the bench/beds, an outdoor kitchen with drop sink, stove, and storage pulls out with the back doors open. Gonna do waterproof laminate flooring and pine slat wall paneling from on sides and ceiling. LED light fixtures, three outlets, and fan (is a swamp cooler too ambitious) will be supported by some decent solar panels on the roof.

There are a few companies that sell mail order mattresses like Purple and Nectar in the USA. I wanted to know if there are Japanese companies like this. Thanks!

Switching apartments in Farmer's Branch, and looking for a few pieces to fill my 735 sqft 1bdr.
There is a private parking garage with an 8ft 2in. Clearance that goes all the way up to top floor, and my apartment is right next to the door. I have seen people with hitched trailers in there before but if your vehicle won't fit, there are double wide doors at the ground level with easy access to an elevator that also goes up right next to my door. I can help unload and carry, it's the bringing-furniture-here part that I don't have the car or extra hands for.
Here is a diagram of my layout with dimensions. The TV outlet is on the left side of the living room area.
The most important thing I need is a couch, ideally I would like a sectional that faces the TV and entry, if that makes sense.
Also looking for a dining set for 4 with a table, chairs or bench style is fine but note the small dimensions around the dining area.
Lastly I'll need a desk for a computer in the bedroom, where there will be a queen sized bed. One option is I have some Ikea adils legs that I could pair with a Linnmon tabletop. These are pretty common and come in a variety of colors that I would accept, also I'd be interested in the Alex drawer that is also usually paired with this set.
Also interested in, but not as important: coffee table, console/side tables, tv center, convection toaster oven (I can pickup)
I am moving in tomorrow, July 10th and I am hoping the most for a couch by the end of the weekend.
Please PM with whatever you've got and how much you're asking for to have it delivered to me! Thank you!

Just a little background information, my mother is building a new house and my sister and I will be moving in with her after some unfortunate events, being close felt right for the time being.
First of all here is the blueprint of my room, and added diagrams of the furniture. I did the best I could: https://i.imgur.com/9BzaMVl.png If you know any good modeling programs that don't have much of a learning curve, let me know and I'll try to do something better than this.
So my mother was kind enough to pick out new furniture for our rooms. She showed me photos of this lovely set from Ashley Home called Sommerford which includes the queen sized bed frame (footboard without storage as current bed is adjustable and wouldn't work with the storage frame), the chest of drawers (tall dresser), the TV stand without the fireplace . I will be mounting my TV on the wall and using the storage section for my records and lastly, two nightstands.
And since do work on my desktop PC, I bought this tiny adjustable desk that fits into the one space in my room .
Unfortunately, I couldn't be there when the furniture was delivered, but my sister told me everything looked great. I finally saw it yesterday and as beautiful as the furniture is, my bedroom is a bit too small with certain restrictions. That's absolutely my fault and now the furniture cannot be taken back.
So I'm trying to make the best of the situation because it's beautiful furniture and I'm super grateful but I could use your help to give me some placement tips. As you can see in this photo, the dresser COULD technically stay like that but... my OCD! https://i.imgur.com/l6N0PN6.jpg (she didn't want to be in the picture)
My ideas:
1.) Put the second nightstand in storage and put the dresser in the closet. You lose some room for hanging clothes, and a dresser in a closet is kind of awkward. My original for the bedroom was not to have a dresser to begin with. I wanted to get those Ikea storage cubes and put them inside my closet. But my mother insisted on having the dresser as well.
2.) Put the dresser in storage and use the 2nd night stand. I like symmetry. It's still not great for utilizing space. The narrow walkway honestly kills me but I might not be able to fix that.
3.) Turn bed counter clockwise and nightstand will go against the window. Has anyone done this? Having the bed longway seems a bit strange to me. It will fix the narrow walkway and leave room for the dresser but when I want to watch TV, I have to be lying on the side facing it. I don't know, I think it would seem strange.
4.) Put the media stand in storage. That would be a shame because it's very beautiful. I could buy those Ikea tables instead. They don't reach out very far. I don't know if they would seat my turntable, though.
The reason the PC desk has to go there is because of the wiring. That's where the ethernet is. Same with the TV. Rewiring is a possibility but a hassle. The wall where my TV will be mounted was originally a door that went into the bathroom. I'm glad I at least said that needed to be a wall!
Any. Help. Would. Be. Appreciated. I truly mean that. I'm very grateful for this furniture but I need to feel at home in my bedroom, awkward placement literally gives me anxiety and I wish I were there when it was delivered.

I don't know a thing about bedding, and I would like some buying advice for a sheet set and comforter for my new mattress. I am living in the southeast United States and it the average temperature has been between 80-90 for months. I need a fabric that doesn't trap heat. I do know that some fabrics are cooler than others. So what would be my best option?
As for the budget, I'd say $100-$200 total is reasonable but I can't go much higher than that.

I apologize in advance this is going to be a long one. I don't even know where to begin since there are multiple issues. As of right now my husband and I are planning to meet with my MIL before the Christmas dinner we are hosting in order to clear the air and hopefully make peace. My husband has already tried talking to her and she's not seeing any fault in her actions and thinks I'm just being a bitch. So here are the issues: My MIL thinks she is just offering suggestions, and how I see it is completely different. Before my now 5mo old boy was born my mother had purchased the bassinet from our registry. When my husband mentioned this in passing to his mom, she became very upset. They ended up arguing because she thinks our baby should sleep in our bed with us, and my husband let her know that all of our doctors conveyed to us the risk of SIDS with bed sharing (Also, who is she to tell us what should go on in our bedroom or bed?) . We also only have a queen size mattress, and I barely get enough room as is with the way my husband sleeps. I did not know about this fight at the time, but two days later I received the attachment parenting books she has read in the early 90s. I researched them and then returned them. This made her upset when she saw the return. She then fought with me, saying that she had experience raising children and her experience should be valued. I kindly let her know that my husband and I already have our own ideas of how we want to parent, but I appreciate her sentiment. Then our baby boy is born. He was ripped from my arms due to an issue with breathing, and stayed in the NICU for a week. Words cannot describe how heartbreaking it is to leave a hospital without your baby. My tail bone was fractured, my legs were in pain from my vericose veins bursting, and I was recovering. I was emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically exhausted. When we finally got to bring our baby home it was like a wrench being thrown into my marriage (we're all good now), and the sleep deprivation was rough, not to mention... Hormones. So in comes MIL on her first visit to see baby. She's here for a total of 20 minutes, and then leaves. The very next day my husband receives a text from her in which she mentions she over heard him and her other son talking about the moro reflex while at our house. She proceeds to say we are cruel causing the moro reflex, and that it will give him anxiety as an adult (it doesn't, our pediatrician laughed at this), AND she sent an article to us explaining toxic and abusive environments for children. My jaw dropped to the floor. The moro thing was just flat our wrong, and the article she sent was hurtful, and all of this was from what she observed in 20 minutes. Something similar happens again, but I'll get to that later, so on to the next issue. I'm going to give you some context first. My MIL is a shopper. She shops for sport, she buys things she already owns, her garage is a storage unit from wall to wall, floor to ceiling of boxes. She constantly has boxes in her house too. All of this is part of her cyclel: Shop, store, organize, reorganize, get rid of stuff. Pretty typical for most, but I believe she takes it to another level. When her kids were kids she bought them new toys every week. They had so many toys that most of them were never played with more than once or played with at all. As a result of this, my husband and his brother were never taught to save. When I met them and moved in with them they would each spend all their paychecks on shopping, even before they paid bills. They both had maxed out credit cards, and they both had nothing in savings. If they were too sick to work they would borrow money from their dad to get by. Needless to say, they were not independent adults. I can't speak for my BIL, but this has been hard on my husband. He now has a good paying career where he makes around $200,000 a year. As of this year he hasn't saved anything, and his credit cards are still maxed. Our agreement was to let him try to better on his own, and if he didn't work then I'd control the money. So in 2020 I will be in charge. I'm a much better saver. His family taught him shopping and things bring happiness. Mine taught me about needs versus wants, and how to save. So, while I lived with my BIL and husband I watched my MIL bring the crap she was trying to get rid of to our house. She brought "gifts", her old items, EVERY TIME she came for a visit. It was overwhelming. They would tell her they didn't want her items before she came over, yet she would still bring them. This led to me taking time out of my day to drop this stuff off at Value Village. Now my husband and I live separately from my BIL. My BIL recently told me that his mother dropped off three large ikea bags of food she didn't want anymore. He told her he didn't want it either, but three days later she made the hour long drive to drop off this food. He told me 90% of it was bad, and some of the eggs expired a year ago. Yet once again, he had to take the time to deal with her stuff. So when my MIL started trying to pawn off her old crap onto my new home with my husband I gently brought it to her attention that I was a minimalist. She seemed intrigued and complimented me on my efforts. So it seemed like she understood and respected the fact that we wouldn't be needing her old stuff. But now with the baby it's a whole other story. After bringing multiple gifts for him, my husband and I let her know our rules with gifts were going to be gift giving for Christmas, birthdays, and special occasions only. This really pissed her off. She didn't express her anger with me, but did so with my husband. Now I'm dealing with that anger (because she's passive aggressive). We recently had her over for lunch so she could spend time with the baby. Everything seemed to go well. A few days later I sent her a text, a picture of my son, to her, and this was my first text after the article she sent us. I had been keeping my distance from texting because that was her platform for criticism, but with the holidays here I felt like I should reach out and try to build a better relationship. What better way than with a cute picture of my baby! Big mistake. The next thing I know she's texting me about how shopping causes red flags for me (it doesn't, I just view it differently from her), and yet she saw a lot of boxes at my house last time she was here, and that gives her "cause for pause". I explained to her that the boxes were from a crib we purchased and that my husband's work ships him the materials he needs so yes we do always have boxes going into our recycling bin. But I also let her know this upset me. I let her know that the boxes in our house our none of her concern, and that while I am a minimalist, I will still purchase needed items like a crib for my son. Now we are coming to the point of this upcoming meeting. My MIL doesn't see an issue with coming to our house, passing judgment, then later being critical of us as parents or how we choose to live our lives. As she sees it, she's just making suggestions, and there's no harm in it. I believe she is also upset about our rules with gifts, and is also upset with my husband and I for still shopping when we need to. I'm dreading this meeting with her. I don't know how to express myself to her. I'm still so angry from the article she sent, and I forgot to mention anytime my husband calls her out on something she did wrong, she gives non apologies saying she's sorry we are offended, that wasn't her intent, and she will cry and play the victim card, or say "we are putting a knife through her heart"which makes it tough for my husband to set boundaries with her because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I keep trying to go over what I'm going to say to her, but I don't know how to with the intent of making peace. I'm pissed she's trying to overstep her grandparent duties by trying to tell us how to parent, I'm pissed she keeps coming over to our house to just insult us in a passive-aggressive way, and I'm upset she's not respecting the value system we are trying to set up for our child such as, people and experiences are more important than things, things cannot give you happiness it comes from within, and saving over spending. And I'm also pissed at her non apologies and apparent attampts at manipulation. Help!!!
Update: My MIL said she won't be coming over for Xmas. She doesn't want to be around me because I'm mean to her.

I find futons pretty awful: Most of them are worse than a couch at being a couch, and yet worse than a bed at being a bed. Same with sleeper sofas -- the one model that I've slept on while traveling and not hated, an Ikea Friheten, is kind of huge for my space. Murphy beds are cool but prohibitively expensive for anything with a decent quality mattress.
And yet I owned a futon, for several years, because every once in awhile I have people over, and I needed something nicer than just an air mattress on the floor for them to sleep on.
While it might be nice to have a "real" bed in my guest room eventually, that room is my home office most of the time, and I can't really justify spending over half the floor space on a piece of furniture that gets used less than once a month. Additionally, I prefer my guest bed to fit the same sheets as my regular bed, so that I don't have to own a whole separate set of linens to use rarely. This alone would rule out most futons (my bed is a queen, and the affordable ones are typically only available in full size), even if they weren't miserable to sleep on to begin with.
One option would be to just throw an airbed on the floor, which does work, but it's not super ergonomic nor easy to make up with proper bed linens. Plus I sometimes host people who find it difficult to get up from being on the floor, due to age or other inconveniences.
The solution that I've found, to my and my guests' satisfaction, is an airbed cot thing that's technically intended for camping. Mine is by Coleman, though other brands make basically the same thing, and mine cost about $150 on Amazon for a queen size. When assembled, it's the height and size of a normal bed. When folded up, the frame and mattress fit together into a bag that's maybe 1'x1'x3' or so. It spends most of its time stowed away and tucked in the back of my closet, taking up practically no space, but for that occasional "I really need a second bed" moment, the slowest part of setting it up is the couple minutes it takes to inflate the mattress. Plus, it's super easy to loan to friends and neighbors when they have their own guests visiting!
So, just in case you're looking for an excuse to get rid of some futon or sleeper sofa but you're hanging onto it because you sometimes need a nicer-than-floor-airbed place for guests to sleep... Consider whether fancy camping equipment might work instead of regular furniture.

Note: I have converted all figures to USD from AUD for this diary at a rate of USD0.70 to AUD1.0 when I wrote the diary a few weeks back – it’s sitting a little lower now at USD0.67, which is tragic for my Everlane addiction.
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $80K – my clients mostly have to pay 9.5% of my contract fee towards superannuation and I top it up a bit myself.
Equity: $40K in my apartment purchase from the first 10% deposit paid (balance of 20% down paid on settlement)
Savings account balance: $12K in my emergency fund, $35K in my house deposit fund – in the next few weeks, I’ll settle on my apartment (I will have paid $75K as the down payment/deposit, and the place cost $375K for a 1Bed/1Bath in inner Melbourne)
Checking account balance: $4.5K on average
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): $0 – pay off in full each month
Student loan debt (for what degree): $45K for undergrad and masters – they are interest-free government loans and our real estate market crazy high so I decided, when I started earning significantly more in the last few years, to work towards buying an apartment and then finish paying down my loan debt. Should have it squared away in the next three years – amount I’ve been saving each month for deposit will now go towards paying off student loans and boosting up my investments and emergency fund.
Investments: $20K in Mutual Fund, $2K in smaller start-up investments
Section Two: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: Varies but around $7000 ($9500 but I set aside $2500 for various taxes)
Section Three: Expenses
Rent / Mortgage / HOA fees: Rent is $1340 (last month!) and new mortgage will be $1400 – though I’ll pay and extra $350 towards it each month. I wanna try and pay it off in 15 years.
Renters / home insurance: $70
Work insurances (Public Liability, Indemnity, Trauma, Income Protection, Equipment, Travel): $370 (deductable work expense)
Retirement contribution – Superannuation fund (additional to employer contributions): $350
Investment contribution: $350
General Savings (Fun, Travel etc): $350
Student Loan Debt (HECS): $400
Annual Expenses Savings (birthdays, Christmas, car registration etc): $350
Donations: $70 monthly split across Medecins sans Frontieres, Red Cross, RSPCA and Women’s Electoral Lobby
Electric, Water, Gas: $90 approx.
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $60
Health Insurance: $0 – cancelled it as I was too healthy and it was extortionate (thanks socialised medical care!)
Cellphone: $129 (deductable work expense)
Subscriptions: Work – Adobe Creative Cloud, Xero, Wix, Wufoo - $110 (deductable work expense); Life – Apple Music, Hulu, Netflix, NYT, Guardian - $60
Gym membership: $110 Pilates, $45 Gym
Pet expenses: $100 monthly for food subscription
Car payment / insurance: $110 insurance (deductable work expense) and car is paid off
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Day 1 – MONDAY
6.30am: Alarm goes. Nope.
7am: brain starts to click into gear. My knee is crazy stiff and cranky from running a half-marathon yesterday morning, so gym is out for today. I read for a while and then jump out of bed a bit before 8am.
Feed the dog and jump in the shower, do my usual morning routine (Rasasara Ayurvedic scrub, Edible Beauty toner, The Ordinary Salicylic Acid, Aesop Mandarin Hydrating Cream and Ole Henrikson Banana Bright eye cream – shout out to my other late-30s ladies who have really had to step up their skincare game of late!) Usual low-key makeup – Clinique BB Cream, Chanel cheek colour and mascara, Aesop lip balm.
Dress in my usual winter uniform of black Madewell jeans, black ankle boots, black long sleeve tee and a mustard cable knit merino jumper. Throw on an olive green Everlane anorak and take the dog for a 30-minute stroll. Super slowly thanks to bloody knee.
8.30am: Grab a cortado from the corner café ($2.80) and settle in to smash email for a few hours. Get an email from my mortgage broker that bank has sent conditional approval – woo hoo! It’s been a mission as a single, self-employed gal so I do some power fists and put on some Queen Bey to celebrate.
11am: Blend up my daily smoothie (banana, blueberries, whole milk, kefir, oats, collagen powder, cinnamon and Amazonia protein powder) and pop it in a flask to take with me. I tend towards intermittent fasting (try and keep my only morning intake to just a single small coffee) so start eating round midday.
11.30am: Jump in the car and drive across town to meet with a colleague for a few hours on some production planning for a gig next year.
1pm: Back in the car, down my smoothie then drive back across town to collect another colleague for a couple of site meetings for an upcoming event. She’s a good mate so it’s lovely to catch up in the car for a bit.
2pm: We knock over a meeting with another couple of our event peeps then stroll around the site with the client to talk them through our plans for the event. It all goes super well. We stop for hot chocolates on the way back to the car as it’s bloody freezing (for Melbourne). I treat my work buddy ($6.30). Broker calls to say bank valuation is booked in. We’re nearly there. What a mission apartment purchasing is.
5pm: Home and take the dog for another half hour stroll. Get home and the bloke I’ve been seeing is just arriving on my porch. We’ve been seeing each other super casually for a few months (both of us travel tons for work so our collective schedule is a bit of a mess). He has brought me wine and a little chocolate trophy in celebration of not dying on the half-marathon. He’s a good egg.
6pm: I feed the doggo and start dinner prep while the bloke plays records. Realise I’m out of eggs so dash down the street to the grocer and get a dozen organic eggs ($6.30). While I’m gone bloke has made negronis. Could be a keeper. We chat while I whip up some pad see ew with chicken and tons of gai lan and broccolini. It is delicious – we devour some and then I pack some away for lunches.
7pm: We chill on the couch, each with a glass of cab franc. I do a few emails and we start the new season of Veronica Mars (he has never seen the original so there’s lots of origin story to catch up on). I am oddly still hungry so I toast a sesame Montreal-style bagel and spread it with peanut butter. That hits the spot. Pack lunch for tomorrow and prep a smoothie in the blender ready to go, then lay out my clothes.
10pm: I do my night routine (Sodashi cleanser, witchhazel toner, The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid, Verso retionol moisturiser). We head to bed.
DAILY TOTAL - $15.40
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Day 2 – TUESDAY
7am: Read the news and check email to make sure no fires erupted overnight. Bloke heads out so he can get a run in before he heads back to his place.
Jump out of bed and feed dog, shower and wash my hair, usual morning routine. Tidy the kitchen and blend my smoothie, then pack that with a container of homemade chicken, barley and vegetable soup (bone broth made in the Instant pot is a winter health GAME CHANGER) and a mandarin.
Blowdry my hair with Davines Oi Oil and smooth it out with Davines smoothing cream. Same winter jeans and boots uniform but a cornflower blue merino jumper today. I’m a bit of a capsule wardrobe girl during the week and crack out my fun wardrobe on the weekends!
8am: Take the dog for a long walk - knee is better but still cranky so there’ll be no workout today. Hopefully will be ok by Pilates tomorrow morning.
8.45am: Drop dog home and stop by corner café for a cortado. 10 mins blissfully sipping coffee at the bench is such a nice way to start the day ($3.50). Jump on the tram ($4.20 on my pre-paid travel card).
10am: get to client’s office in the city – I’ll work in town 2 days today and my home office the rest of the week. It’s a good mix. We start the day with a quick all-staff meeting then it’s heads down and documents ahoy.
12noon: I drink my smoothie while making operational briefs for all our venues. Put out a few fires. Have a staff member pull out of a gig – cue eye rolls and sending of recruitment emails for replacement.
1pm: soup time! I heat my soup up and devour it at my desk – I’d rather skip a lunch break and head out early…that said I control my own hours as a freelancer so as long as the work gets done, they’re not too fussed what hours I keep.
3.30pm: Deep in briefings mode, and I realise I’m late to head home for a rental inspection. Will be my last before I vacate so I hustle to the train ($2.80 on my pre-paid travel card) and catch the rental agent as she’s arriving – inspection goes great and there won’t be much to reinstate when I leave. Score. I take the dog for an hour-long walk to make up for no gym time. She’s super happy with this development.
5pm – home, tidying and dinner prep. Starving so toast an everything bagel and top with some sliced comte and sloe berry paste. Heaven. Finish off some emails and documents and run a bath to treat my sad knee. My mate D pops around with some of his homemade kimchi and I swap him for some preserved oranges and zuni pickles I made a few weeks back. Home-grown/home-made food swaps are the bomb. He attempts to draw me out for a glass of wine at the bar across the road but my resistance is powerful! Mainly cos I have a warm bath to get into. He heads out and I soak in the bath for 45 minutes - it’s bliss.
6.30pm – reheat some pad see ew and steam some extra greens to go with it. An AFD is in order so pour a glass of lime lemon mint kombucha.
More Veronica Mars. Foam roll my hamstrings and knees to be stretchy for morning pilates. Lay out gym clothes and work clothes, prep smoothie and pack soup.
10pm – night-time routine and bed. Dog curls up behind my bum knee and is like a hot water bottle that never goes cold. Good work dog.
DAILY TOTAL - $3.50
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Day 3 – WEDNESDAY
6.30am: Alarm goes and I’m up. Woke up a bunch during the night (I’m a terrible sleeper) and listened to podcasts to knock myself out again. Feel oddly rested for so little sleep.
6.45am: Arrive at Pilates – it’s so freezing out, I had to de-ice my car. Boo Melbourne winter. My trainer is on holidays so have a replacement today and she is…not great. There are two of us there and in an hour she only does two adjustments on me (I am not amazing at Pilates and definitely need ongoing instruction/correction!) Smash my program in 55 minutes so that’s something.
7.50am: Home, throw on a beanie and puffy coat and take the dog out. It’s 3 degrees. Ew.
8.20am: Back home, tidy up, morning routine, pack lunch and drink a mixture of prebiotic greens and BCAAs in water, then I’m off. Went for black tights and long sleeve top, olive green dress, black merino hoodie and leather jacket, scarf and fur lined Trippen boots. Toasty warm now! Stop at café for a cortado ($3.50) then onto the tram ($4.20 on pre-paid card).
10am: In the office, make a liquorice tea and start clearing my email. Not many people in today so it’s blissfully quiet.
11am: Head out to a venue meeting, all goes smoothly. Take my reusable ceramic cup with me and grab another cortado and a hump day chocolate pistachio croissant from my fave bougie city coffee shop ($8.40) to break my fast at midday. I love you and needed you, little pastry friend.
2pm: I’m in a site maps hole so take a break to warm up soup. Throw a tantrum to myself at the state of the communal kitchen so clean it. Feel 1000% better about everything post cleaning frenzy.
3pm: one more venue visit then a meeting with another client across town. Jump on the 4pm train home. During event weeks I easily clock up 100+ hours so when it’s pre-production/planning/office time, I try and keep to around 10am-4pm hours to balance it out.
4pm: Home, walk dog and chat to my sister K on the phone. We’re helping my dad move house so negotiating with agents etc cos the digital world ain’t his forte, and the email/online application system confuses the hell out of him (envisage that grandad from the Simpsons shaking his first at a cloud. That’s my dad). Text a bit back and forth with the bloke who’s out of town til Friday for work. Make plans to catch up late Friday night. Search for a new swimsuit online (AKA the world’s worst shopping task) – have lost a bunch of weight the last year and haven’t found one I like yet. Go for an Esther Williams vintage style I love and have owned before cos I trust the style and sizing. Check with a tape measure before I hit go on the order to be sure of my measurements and it’s hello tropical pineapple swimsuit ($106). Tidy up and do a load of laundry.
5.30pm: Meeting a mate for an early dinner so head out and jump on the tram (no charge as I’ve triggered a day pass by commuting). 10 mins down the road to a reasonably new barestaurant for Wednesday schnitzel night!
6pm: So great to catch up with my friend S: we both have come late (and somewhat unexpectedly #artslife) to financial security and purchased property in the last year. So great to have female friends I can talk unreservedly about finances with and ask all my dumb questions. We both order a pint of farmhouse ale, chicken schnitzel with summer slaw and chips to share. We finish up by splitting an order of ricotta donuts served with yuzu curd and pistachio cream (I will be back to eat these by myself – they are SO GOOD). $63 split down the middle, so $31.50 each.
9pm: Curl up on the couch with the dog and read (Sloane Crossley’s Look Alive Out There). Lay out clothes, do night routine and then bed.
DAILY TOTAL - $149.40
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Day 4 - THURSDAY
4.30am: Wide awake. Bleugh. Put on a podcast (Room 20) and then doze in fits and starts until 7am.
7am: Wrecked. Read in bed for an hour. Remember I need BB cream and Davines smoothing cream so place an order with AllBeauty ($73). Haul myself out of bed, feed dog and into the shower. Strip my bed and remake it with fresh linen, then wash my sheets. Prep some porridge to eat when I stop fasting.
Today’s outfit is black tights, ankle boots, navy and white patterned vintage a-line dress with merino hoodie, leather jacket and jaunty beanie.
8.30am: Take dog out and stop for a takeout cortado in my ceramic cup on the way back ($2.80). Grab shopping bags, washed milk bottles for return and soft plastic recycling and head out to do grocery shop – I’m going camping on the weekend so going to clean and prep food today ready for that, and for next week.
9.30am: stop at the organic grocery store and stock up on next week’s groceries (I’m a hard core meal planner and love to cook, so this is pretty pleasurable). Grab chicken breasts, ham, toothpaste, compostable ziplock bags, buckwheat soba, wholemeal macaroni, whole milk, kefir, bananas, onions, butternut pumpkin, broccolini, baby spinach, leeks, dill, red cabbage, pak choy, carrots and coconut toffee dark chocolate ($69.30 – get $4 back from returning my milk bottles so $65.30).
Then head to the regular grocer across the road and get kangaroo jerky for the dog, gruyere, cheddar, French’s yellow mustard (the best) and BBQ Boulder Canyon potato chips ($34). Experience mild heart attack at price of cheese but good cheese is 100% worth the expense. I am a cheese fiend.
10.30am: Home, put away groceries and steam pumpkin for food prep. Hang out laundry and then sit down to clear my email inbox, whip up some documents and take some calls. Cook up my vanilla porridge oats at midday and eat these topped with smoked maple syrup, kefir, lime zest and coconut. Pretend I’m on a tropical island.
1pm: Take an hour of power break to clean the house – vacuum, dust, clean bathroom and kitchen. Simultaneously whip up a batch of wholemeal pumpkin mac and cheese for camping and Sunday night dinner. My living room light bulb blows so I swing round the corner shop and grab a replacement along with the last two items on my grocery list – panko crumbs and fried shallots ($7.70).
2pm: back to the grind. Warm up a little bowl of chicken soup to eat while I draw more site maps and wrangle some budgets and risk assessments. Dad pops in and I help him sort out all his house stuff, his phone, his phone email. He’s a full luddite, bless him. Eat a mandarin while I explain i-phone to him.
4pm: change into workout gear and swing to the gym. Throw some Sleater Kinney in my earbuds and get it done – a fast 2km warm-up treadmill run and then 30 minutes of HIIT compound strength training. Back to my joint, grab dog and take her for a 20-minute walk as cool down.
5.30pm: feed dog, drink a shaker of prebiotic greens and BCAAs, then back at my desk for an hour to clear out the last of the email – I get fully uncomfortable when I have more than 10 emails in my inbox, so try and get below 5 each night before I clock off. I realise that’s mildly insane.
7pm: steam some bok choy, baby spinach, edamame and broccolini to add to the last of my pad see ew, topped with a handful of peanuts, fried shallots and chilli oil. Luckily I don’t mind eating the same thing for days on end and so usually only have to meal prep 2-3 meals each week since often I’m cooking for just me.
Wash the dishes, prep lunch and smoothie for tomorrow then tidy the kitchen. Having organisation inspo, so pack all my camping shit and pop it in the hallway ready for the weekend. Eat a salted almond protein bar for dessert. Another buddy, L, pops around with a bunch of preserves and pickles he’s made, as a thanks for some work help: kasundi, harissa, muhammara, pickled salmon, pickled quince and pickled mushrooms. I’m aghast, and immediately start planning how to use it all! We chat for a few minutes then he heads out.
8.30pm: Chill out on the couch and watch some Gilmore Girls (true) and, for balance, Handmaids Tale (so brutal but I can’t turn away). Lay out gym and regular clothes for tomorrow.
10pm: shower, night-time routine and bed.
DAILY TOTAL - $182.80
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Day 5 – FRIDAY
6.15am: awake and feeling oddly well slept. Dog yawns, stretches and curls up on my head. Read the news in bed for an hour.
7.15am: up, dressed, hound fed, out the door for a 4km speed run. Home again and immediately take dog out cos she’s dancing around the front door like she’s literally never been for a walk before. Nutbar.
8.30am: home, showered, hair washed and dried. Dress in charcoal tights, black ankle boots and patterned Gorman dress (Melbourne uniform). I feel oddly hungry – pretty rare since I started IF about a year ago, but I listen to my body and eat a rhubarb muffin with my cortado ($5.5). Decide to work from home as office internet is crap.
9am: desk and deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. Bust out some large format grid maps and a bunch of venue advances – the grid maps slow my dropbox which is hella annoying so it’s fits and starts for the whole day.
12pm: drink my smoothie. Eat the last of my chicken and barley soup about an hour later.
2pm: I finish up work with all my deadlines met and start the weekend free and clear of any lingering tasks. Boom. Gotta wait for all my map files to upload so not too much more I can do now. Realise I have my lil sis coming to stay next week and my spare room is a bomb site, so smash apart my old Ikea bed and build my new fancy bed (it’s been in boxes in the spare room for a few months – was gonna wait til I moved but also don’t want my sister to have to sleep in a box prison…)
New bed is rad, and only requires like 8 screws tightened with an allan key (take that Ikea and your 57-step bed assembly).
Take the dog for a walk and head home to run through the shower and throw some more makeup on – pop Gorman dress back on (changed into shorts and tee for bed building), add hoodie, leather jacket, scarf and fur-lined boots and it’s off to town for French food and French cinema!
4.45pm: Head to meet S at an immensely cool new underground French bistro – two lady dates in one week, what a treat! She’s running late from work so I chill with a rye old fashioned, and when she arrives we split Moules and Duck Frites and each drink two glasses of white wine (split, $53 for my share with 10% tip) and we catch up on everything that has happened since Wednesday (spoiler – very little). Then it’s off to a film in the Melbourne International Film Festival (bought tickets a few weeks back).
8.30pm: film was brilliant. Pop down to visit a mate, R, who has just opened an excellent microbrewery nearby (split an Uber with S who continues home - $9). Drink a half of peach saison and a half of coffee sour. R shouts me, as he knows I’ll be back with mates in tow. It’s super lovely to catch up, and we make a plan to hang out soon for yum cha with his adorable kid.
10.30pm: due to meet the bloke so jump on the tram (really helps that everywhere I go and where I live is along one tram line). Meet him at my local beer palace and we order boilermakers – a local pale ale and a local whiskey each ($28, he pays) – Intermittant Fasting window be damned. We hole up under a heater outside in the courtyard and chat to our mate who is slinging woodfired pizzas in a pop-up out the back of the bar. They are making a special tonight – a nachos calzone – which the bloke is game to try (he’s been sinking pints since 6pm, so…) I have a taste. It is spectacular.
After a while we wander home, a thankfully short walk. In bed by 1am, a pretty good innings for a Friday.
DAILY TOTAL - $67.50
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Day 6 – SATURDAY
5am: Woken by the bloke who is heading out early to drive to the coast for a surf. I snuggle with the dog for another few hours sleep.
9am: Up, dressed and head to the gym for a quick 30-min conditioning workout – mostly boxing bag work, bodyweight stuff, skipping and rowing. Head home and grab the dog to take her out, buy some rolls for hiking sandwiches ($2). I pack all the shit into the car and whip up some sandwiches for today and tomorrow as well as a batch of oats, coconut, milk, maple syrup, vanilla and lime zest to cook for brunch tomorrow.
11.30am: My mates are coming round to check out some garden furniture I no longer need, so I make coffee in my stovetop moka pot and whip up breakfast tacos: baby spinach, ham and shallots sautéed in olive oil, with some scrambled egg, cheddar, avocado, lime juice and hot sauce on corn tortillas. Catch up with my buddies and hear all about their new house, while devouring tacos. Win. They leave and dog and I jump in the car at midday.
2pm: get to the forest and park up. Eat a ham, cheese, pickle and lettuce sandwich as the dog runs in circles. Head off on a 15km loop hike to the falls.
5pm: Back at camp. Set up the tent and have a cheeky nap with the snoozy hound. Forest naps are the best.
6pm: build a fire and then chill with some BBQ chips and a beer. Warm up my pumpkin mac and cheese, devour it. This has been a meal of champions.
7pm: sun is down so I douse the fire and head to my tent to read by torchlight for a while. Snuggle with hound who smells like a wombat while an actual wombat keeps snuffling the outside of our tent. Fall asleep hilariously early.
DAILY TOTAL - $2.00
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Day 7 – SUNDAY
7am: Up, break down my campsite and pack the car. Feed the hound then head out 15 mins down the road to a new trailhead in a state forest.
8.30am: Head out on a new hike – do 10kms in the misty forest and it’s incredible. Chill in the forest for a bit just listening to the birds. See a lyrebird (rare!)
Get back to the car around 11am and break out my trusty camping stove – heat up my oats for porridge.
12noon: on the road and back to town. Eat my premade sandwiches on the way. Get home and immediately unload and clean all my gear – wash the hound blankets and towels and all my muddy gear, and hang the tent fly on the line to dry. Wash the hound as well to remove the wombat smell.
2pm: chill on the couch with a beer and my leftover BBQ chips. Watch more Gilmore girls. Am not sorry. Take a nap.
4pm: run a bath and wash my face before putting on a Sodashi mineral clay mask – my once a week treat. While bath is running, I take my defrosted bone broth from the fridge and start a pot of chicken, vegetable, rice, lemon and dill soup for weekday lunches. I also make jammy eggs in the instant pot and roast some veggies to add to soba bowls for dinners.
5pm: lay in the bath for an hour. So good.
6pm: finish all the post camping tidying, feed the hound, drink another beer. Lay out my workout and work clothes for tomorrow. Decide pizza is in order so order a potato, caramelised onion and arugula pizza from my fave joint ($17). Grab a pint of ricotta and chocolate orange gelato from the store next to the pizza joint ($8) – laze on the couch with dinner and watch The Inventor on HBO (I can’t get enough of insane Elisabeth Holmes – remind myself to order Bad Blood).
9pm: night-time routine and an early night. Rested and ready for a crazy week ahead.
DAILY TOTAL - $25.00
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Food + Drink: $257.60
Fun / Entertainment: $0
Home + Health: $0
Clothes + Beauty: $179.00
Transport: $9.00
Other: 0
TOTAL - $445.60
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So I actually feel this was a low-spend week for me in some areas! About right for groceries and eating/drinking out, cos I love good food, and you can pry my daily coffee from my cold dead hands!! Most weeks I either fill my car ($60) or top up my travel card ($60) – oddly this week I didn’t need to do either. I would also usually have at least $75 in both Entertainment and Home – I’m pretty good about only buying home and clothing items I’ve logged in my long-term shopping list (I use Shop Shop to keep lists of shopping I need to do: Groceries, Long-Term Clothing and House purchases, Records/Books and Beauty) – absolutely stops me from random and unnecessary purchases! Camping on the weekend instead of a few more social gatherings and going to a gig or show definitely kept my spend a little lower. Altogether I’m proud of getting my finances healthy enough to buy an apartment and am excited for the next three-five years of my financial plan to roll out so I can feel really confident about how I’m set up for later life.

Alright, so I'm hoping this is a good subreddit for this. I've just been thinking about my bedroom lately, and as a long-term goal, I'd like to spruce some things up a bit in here.
My style/taste: My favorite color is pink. I love pastel pink and hot pink. I love sparkle and glam, too. I like "grown up girly" things. I am drawn to a Barbie-like aesthetic that doesn't scream "kids room."
My current setup:

• A plastic 3-drawer storage cart currently sits next to my bed. I store my most commonly worn clothing in the drawers, and have a lamp, an alarm clock, skin care items, etc on top. The top is bowing in, causing items to tip over constantly and making it harder to close the drawers. But I like where it is. It forms a right-angle with my bed, so I can sit on my bed and put away laundry. I have a chronic illness that causes a lot of fatigue, and this set up helps conserve energy. Having this side table/dresser combo also saves space.
• My bed is very similar to this one. So the mattress and box spring are very thick, which makes the bed tall. My bed and box spring are on the floor right now. I'm only 5'0, so any bed frame I purchase can't make the bed too much taller. But I need a bed frame, because my bed is in a corner against two walls, and items on my bed are constantly falling into crevices where they're almost impossible to retrieve. The mattress also shifts a lot, so an inch or two of the mattress will be hanging off the box spring. A bed frame would help all of that.
• My current colors are pink, black, and zebra (it symbolizes rare disease). I have black curtains, a tall black shelf, baby pink sheets, a zebra comforter, and a black pillow case. My side table/dresser has one very small pink lamp on it, and the side table itself is white. My room needs more pink!

What I'm looking for:
I'd love to add a few new pink items to my room that reflect my glamorous pink aesthetic. I love the tufted look. It just looks more opulent to me. I'd love to find a bold pink dresser and bed frame. I don't have a lot of money, so I can't just drop $1500 on one dresser. I'm not going to go into too many details about my finances, but I will say that it is beyond my control, and I'm hoping they will improve very soon.
The bed frame, as I mentioned before, should look girly. I like glamour. Pink is best. As for the dresser, I need to be able to store all my pajamas, socks and undies in there, since I wear those the most. So a small little night stand just won't work. I need a full dresser that is wider than it is tall, and close to the same height as my bed. Three single drawers like this will work, but I also like how sometimes the top row of drawers is "split," like this. I also like the 6-drawers look if it maximizes storage. I basically need to be able to tuck everything away without constantly straining, reaching, squatting, etc.
What I've found:
I really like this bed frame from Baxton Studios. And I really like this matching table, but it needs to be closer to this size. It would look weird to have a white dresser and a pink bed frame IMHO. And all white would look bland. Plus, I researched Baxton Studios on other websites, and the quality seems questionable. I also found these beds, but no matching dressers. With all the information I've provided, hopefully, you all understand what I'm looking for.
Any ideas?